Friday, January 16, 2009

Two-Month-Old Fetus Officially Decreed to be NCAA 'Prospect'

WASHINGTON, D.C. (HP) -- After Thursday's controversial decision to extend 'prospect' status to seventh graders passed by virtue of an NCAA vote, the NCAA's follow-up vote on Friday also classified unborn fetuses with a minimum of two months of maturation as 'prospects.'

The decision was made to buck a trend in which some college coaches were intentionally spreading their seed and/or offering to foot the bill for the baby mama's expenses. "The fact that we've got to this point is really just a sign of the times." said Joe D'Antonio, chairman of the 31-member Division I Legislative Council. D'Antonio is certainly not alone in his views, but after numerous photo leaks that showed coaches holding and even kissing young infants, the council considered this a problem that needed to be nipped in the bud.

"It may seem harmless, but by speaking to the fetus through the mother's stomach or playing a school fight song while the unborn child rests, a coach can have considerable influence over an unsuspecting, captive audience," said a NCAA source that wished to remain anonymous.

Schools had also expressed concern that the elite pre-birth basketball skills camps and workshops were giving participating coaches a recruiting advantage, pressuring other coaches to conduct similar camps.

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