Tuesday, January 13, 2009

15 Footer 1.13.09

This 15 Footer comes to you courtesy of our friendly co-founder and leader extraordinare, Matt Moore.


Today I'm actually giving predictions to go along with the previews. Won't be a regular thing, but I'm feeling saucy.
(Corn Ed. Note - I do not approve of using the term "saucy." But for Moore, it's oddly appropriate. Also, I fully expect one of these predicitons to be dead on. Moore's predicitons, FTW!)...

Let's Get Violent (Detroit 96 Charlotte 90):
Close. Not close enough. This Charlotte team has fire in its veins, and Detroit's feeling a little mercurial with this whole silly "starting" business. I don't believe Iverson and Hamilton starting is a good idea, and this is going to be the game where the Pistons go "woah, didn't know Okafor could play like that." If they had Augustin and this was in Charlotte, I'd give them the W, but a few big shots and the bench differential is enough. Do enjoy Adam Morrison on the floor at the same time as Kwame Brown, though. That's fun to think about.

Crank Engines To "Nova" (Heat 105 Minnesota 103):
This five game winning streak by the Wolves is seriously messing with my ability to endlessly mock Kevin McHale. It must end. In reality, this is a lot of fun on paper. Inconsistent guards versus inconsistent guards, Jeffersno versus Haslem, and Beasley/Marion with no one that can match their range. Wade's got to be angry after the LA loss and is starting to trust Beasley. If Chalmers can get his head back together, the Heat should be in good shape. I'm betting they're not, but then in the last two minutes, what are the Wolves going to do to Wade?

Someone Alert The Governor, We May Have to Declare Emergency (Cleveland 100, Memphis 81):
You know how this pains me. The Grizzlies are playing with zero continuity, zero composure, and look worn out. Cleveland is on a mission from God to destroy everything in its path. Rudy Gay can't keep up with LeBron, Mo Williams will eat Lowry for dinner, they'll double Mayo at the perimeter, and kill them on the boards, which the Grizzlies have troubles with anyway. There's not a matchup on the floor I like, and that's just the starters. LeBron sits the fourth.


Simple. (Lakers 109 Rockets 99):
TMac and Crazy Pills aren't playing, which means that even though Farmer, Walton, and odom aren't playing, the Rockets are screwed. Too many shooters, too much speed, too much Kobe. Always, Kobe. So if you're going to check this one out, I have a suggestion. Young Mr. Bynum versus The Dynasty. Everyone likes to talk about Andrew Bynum being the next great NBA center (HOWARD SMASH!!!), yet Yao Ming still puts up numbers despite his passion for getting Dunked On. So this is a good one to watch to measure Bynum's been hot lately, playing close to his supposed potential (albeit against small teams). If he shows up big against The Dynasty tonight, this could be the start of his ascension to the Greatest (HOWARD SMASH!!!)

The Freak Show Visits The Freak Show (Dallas 102 Denver 95): Birdman and Balkman team up tonight to take on Dirkalicious and Erik Dampier fresh of getting his face rocked by Shaq and Hawes. The Mavericks are reeling, drowning, clawing for air. Luckily they get Denver without Melo, and a squad they match up well with. Billups-Kidd may not be a wash, but it's not a complete annihilation. And the Denver bigs don't have what it takes to stop Dirk, not that anyone can. Bass provides the spark off the bench, Terry hits some big shots and the Mavs stem the bleeding.

The Farce Continiues(Phoenix 115 Atlanta 103):
Shaq will continue fooling everyone into thinking he'll be able to play like this in the playoffs against a team without their best interior defender tonight. With Horford not available due to injury, and Nash feeling spritely, it should be pretty easy to put a hurting on the Hawks. Smith is overwhelmed by Amare, Nash topples Bibby, and Richardson keeps pace with Johnson. Unless Marvin Wililams decides to have a career night, on the road, when he hasn't shot the ball well, the farce in Phoenix will continue.

DWIGHT SMASH! (Orlando 107 Sacramento 89):
DWIGHT SMASH PUNY HUMANS! PUNY HUMANS TALK ABOUT ANDREW BYNUM! PUNY HUMANS TALK ABOUT GREG ODEN! HOWARD STRONGEST! TONITE HOWARD GET BRAIDY HAIR BRAD MAN. HOWARD NO LIKE BRAIDY HAIR BRAD. BRAIDY HAIR BRAD SMELL LIKE HERBAL SUPPLEMENTS! HOWARD SMASH PUNY BRAID HAIR! HOWARD ALSO FACE SHOCK AND/OR HAWES. HAWES NO MATCH FOR HOWARD, EVEN IF HOWARD NO POSSESS SHORT-RANGE, MEDIUM RANGE, OR LONG-RANGE JUMPER! IF PUNY KINGS BRING DOUBLE TEAM, HOWARD GIVE TO JAMEER! JAMEER HOWARD'S FRIEND! HE SHOOT LONG WAYS! HEDO SAYS TO TAKE REVENGE ON KINGS FOR NOT WANTING HEDO. HOWARD NO CARE ABOUT HEDO'S CONTRACT HISTORY. HOWARD SMASH! Then Howard go home read Bible. Praise be to the Lord. ... (Howard smash!)

 
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