Thursday, December 11, 2008

Trade Machine Concoction Gone Wild!

Please, tell me it was all a dream. Tell me I'm having a terrible, terrible nightmare. I WANT TO WAKE UP, DAMMIT. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WITH RAJA BELL AND BORIS DIAW AS BOBCATS.

GodZiller may have appropriately titled his post "Boris Diaw + Larry Brown = Must Watch TV." But I come from a different school of thought, and apparently a different method of arithmetic:


PLUS

EQUALS


That's probably my head exploding. But it could be your head, or Larry Brown's head, or maybe even D'Antoni's head. Take your pick on that one, folks.

Classic MJ, I guess; part-time Bobcats fan that I am, I've been plotting and scheming over the last few weeks on how to put Chris Kaman or a variety of bigs in a hideous 'Cats uni, doing my best to appreciate what I thought were Gerald Wallace's last games in Charlotte. But instead of sending out Crash, the Bobcats have traded their best scorer, somehow leaving the team even more offensively inept than before. There are some people in this world that know no limits. The aren't bothered by boundaries or probabilities. For that I salute you, Mr. Jordan: you have somehow made this offense even worse. You have done the impossible, and that makes you mighty.

Will Diaw work out in CHA? No. Way. Larry Brown hates players that don't fit neatly into his cookie cutter -- a scalding hot cast iron cookie cutter that he uses to forcibly and painfully turn positionally deviant players into his generic template that may have been flawed to begin with. But hey, we're not here to pick on Brown! We're hear to speak of the apocalypse in Charlotte! And a friggin' coup of a trade that somehow netted the Suns the best player in the deal while parting with some expendables! Raja Bell was a good defender. But he's already visably slipped. Don't worry though, he'll get better. Totally. So somehow, a slowed lockdown defender and a grab-bag of post moves, playmaking, and headaches are supposed to account for the team's most productive scorer and most active hustle player?

Suns fans should be understandably depressed and thrilled. I mean, even Nash is pissed. If there was ever a player that could be described by the phrase "that's so D'Antoni," it would be Diaw. He boggled and continues to boggle everyone's mind who isn't part of the Dantones clan, and even Pringles himself was probably perplexed by by him. But in a world where Diaw could play center, SSoL thrived. Without Amare, the system was supposed to break down. But Boris held down the fort until the star returned, only to fade into the nothingness of marginalization. Pringles may have left long ago, but perhaps it was today that the dream really died.

Still, in terms of the production that the Suns lost in Diaw and Bell, Suns fans should be absolutely exhilirated about this sh*t. Jason Richardson is hands down the best player in the deal. His contract isn't great, but neither is Diaw's for that matter. What's more, he essentially provides a suped-up Bell; he's a more active defender than Bell is in his current form, and though he lacks defensive discipline in areas where Bell excels, he more than makes up for it with three-point marksmanship, supernatural bursts of scoring, and dunks that make opponents curl up in a ball and cry. But he didn't go to North Carolina, so he's gotta go.

The real steal in this deal (INTERNAL RHYME OVERLOAD), if the Suns choose to allow him to succeed, is Jared Dudley. He played in Charlotte so he didn't exactly get much of the national spotlight, and on top of that he rarely played big minutes. But Duds significantly impacts the action when he's on the floor: rebounding well for his position, pressuring his man, and even giving an unexpected scoring punch. He's a perfect intangibles guy, and he's definitely more useful to the Suns than Singletary is to the Bobcats. Another small point guard? Yay!

In summary:

Jason Richardson > Boris Diaw
Jason Richardson > Raja Bell
Jason Richardson (probably) > Diaw & Bell
Jared Dudley > Sean Singletary

But, fear not fellow Bobcattians, there are a few positives here:

  • Gerald Wallace is back at the 3. 'Bout fricking time.
  • This hopefully means they will not be signing Juwan Howard, who was rumored to be headed to Charlotte.
  • Jeff McInnis is still gone.
That's all I've got. Unless you count the remote possibility that the 'Cats don't even want Diaw, and are only trading for him so they can trade Diaw to New York (I know, I know, it doesn't make sense with the cap situation) in some deal that simultaneously appeases Pringles and nets David Lee for Charlotte (who, if you'll remember, was a hot target for a deal centered around Raymond Felton that fell through). This trade doesn't put Phoenix 'over the top' or any of that nonsense. But it is a trade that makes sense and adds a pretty considerable talent for very little cost. First you took away the Suns and now you're chipping away at the Bobcats? What the f*ck did I ever do to you, Kerr?

 
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