Monday, December 1, 2008

The Choice is Yours: New Jersey Nets Tickets

Let's say you're a very rich Nets fan. You really love Vince Carter 50% of the time. You like that Devin Harris looks like a frog/human hybrid. You even buy the lower tier Roc-A-Fella releases (I see you, Bleek!) just to support the ownership. Needless to say, you want to go to a game and be seen. If you're throwing away money on Young Gunz records then you definitely have the funds to get close to action. But where should you sit? The Nets have two options.

Option A: You can sit with these guys:

Sure, their kid is going to drive you up a wall while he keeps asking why Vince is on the ground again. The guy in the hat and tie is going to be a horrible person. You'll have to master the pointer finger on the chin move that seems to be a pre-requisite for sitting there. But, you'll be ballin' sitting courtside. That's option A.

Option B: You can sit with these guys:

At first, it seems like an easy choice, right? Jay, Beyonce, and Kanye all together, that's great! But consider this; Jay WILL NOT talk to you. Beyonce will be disappointingly less attractive in person. Kanye is going to talk your ear off about either AutoTune or some tremendously expensive designer toilet that even you won't be able to afford. Then he'll repeat it at least three times throughout the game, with varying levels of excitement. Just when it seems like he's done talking, he'll do something like run out on the court saying how his shoes are better than any of the shoes that have ever been on that floor, which means his shoes should be in the Hall of Fame. Then he'll apologize through Rolling Stone, all the while proclaiming that while he's sorry for what happened, he still truly believes his shoes are the best. This will not be an enjoyable situation.

So those are your choices. Do you sit with people like you? Boring, annoying people with too much money to spend. Or do you sit with people who aren't like you? Don't forget, they're boring and annoying and have too much money to spend too. It's a tough choice.

Maybe it's best to sit with the derelicts and bums.

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