Monday, December 29, 2008

15 Footer 12.29.08

Wassup, rockers?


REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT:


Worst of the 90s, Unite!:



Nuggets at Hawks

Who'd a thunk it? But this might just be the most entertaining match-up of the night. I consider Denver to be must-see TV these days. K-Mart's always good for unintentional comedy, and I'm still looking for signs of an inevitable collapse that is looking less and less likely by the day. While the arguments that Melo isn't a franchise player certainly have merit, dude named Billups is running the show now, and man they sure look good...on most nights. But I'll be waiting with my note pad, furiously scribblings plots of their demise.

Does anyone not love the Hawks?

7:00 EST


Harris, Rose, Rose, Harris:


Bulls at Nets

Why has no one made the obvious comparisons between these two yet? Rose is supposedly a Wade-Kidd hybrid, but I see Harris in him more than anyone else (and I'm not just talking flesh tones). If anything, Rose is a slightly slowed down, possibly better shooting, and even more creative Harris. Both are excellent on-ball defenders, both can out-stride and outpace almost any opposing PG in the league on the break. The difference between current Rose and early Devin is mostly in the shooting: though midrange and long-range shooting were supposedly Rosian flaws, he's shown to be fairly capable at both. But fresh out of the gate, Devin couldn't hit the broad side of the barn. Plus, both will set up their teammates through their own scoring. The passing is a product. You hear me Vinny? You ready to implement the dribble-drive with Rose and Deng?

7:30 EST


Those Were the Best Days of My Life!:

Magic at Pistons

Man, those were fine times. Where the Pistons were the powerhouse of powerhouses, toyfully jabbing and pawing at the Magic until they finally decided to claw them to pieces. The Magic were but lupus pups, just growing in their claws and their fangs. I guess that makes the Pistons like, bigger, fiercer wolves, err, yeah. Whatever. Screw metaphors. The Pistons are not only slipping and sliding their way down the Eastern Conference food chain, but Iverson has completely revolutionized the way I feel about the team. The way this team paddles to keep its head above water in the second tier of the East is depressing, mostly because I have a monument of Sheed made out of Model Magic sitting in my closet.

7:30 EST

A Game Only a Matt Moore Could Love:

Grizzlies at Wolves

I had some love for the Wolves earlier in the season, but I'm growing more disenchanted with them by the day. The Harbinger is everything that I want him to be, but I know of few NBA players I find more infuriating than Randy Foye. And Mike Miller's sudden plummet into irrelevancy just depresses me.

Plus, you can count on the bad Grizz to show up tonight. They have a tendency to play on-level with teams like the Wolves, to a degree that nauseates me ever so slightly.

8:00 EST


The Monster Squad vs. Squad of Monsters:


Suns at Thunder

I think it's pretty obvious which team is which: one is a "who's who" of big name monsters, beasts in their own right who are members and perhaps creators of the establishment, while another is a ragtag group of kids using their wits to topple everyone's favorite icons of horror.

I don't want to spoil a cinematic masterpiece for you (it's basically Goonies meets your wackiest acid trip meets your greatest delusions of grandeur. Something tells me this one isn't going to end quite as happily for the kids, though.

8:00 EST


Seriously, Stop Playing Games:
Wizards at Rockets

No, really, I'm done talking about the Wizards.

8:30 EST


Wounded Tiger Versus Woundedier Tiger:

Sixers at Jazz

What happens when a wounded tiger fights another wounded tiger? Or, if one of them is a wounded warrior instead of a wounded tiger, is a wounded tiger more powerful than a wounded warrior? What if he only has a dagger? Or a bow and arrow? Maybe a big club or something? Or what if we de-claw the tiger, leaving it generally helpless and Millsapless? Either way, this whole situation is generally f*cked. Sixers - Brand = lamesauce, and the Jazz - Boozer, Okur, and Millsap is just surreal. Welcome to the 2009 Jazz with an injured Millsap anyone?

9:00 EST


Good Grief:


Raptors at Warriors

Yikes. Who will show up: Dr. Biedrinsyll (sounds like an allergy medication) or Mr. Biedrins? I'm not even sure which one is the good one, but I do know that this guy is capable of dropping 15 and 15 just as easily as 8 and 8. At least, it sure seems that way lately. What happened to cusp of all-stardom Andris, fully deserving of the mammoth of a contract?

I only bring it up because it will likely decide the game. When it comes to Bosh and Jermaine, if Biedrins is on his game, the dubs stand a chance. If not, even Toronto will make the Warriors look silly.

10:30

 
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