SwaggerJack: Boom Got Them Doths

Holly MacKenzie is a contributing writer for SLAM and The Score. Her SwaggerJack column runs from time to time here at HP. This week she's got a special addition from NBA-hopeful Rod Benson. Boom.

This past Thursday, I was walking home from what was a failed attempt at looking for a grocery store that is close to my new apartment and I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I opened an email with an attachment that had only one word: Boom. Immediately I knew what the attachment was. Rod Benson, who is every bit as entertaining as his writing makes him out to be, and seems as though he is too good to be true but actually is just too good, had came through on a promise from four months ago. The attachment was simply titled "HOLLYPOEM," and this is how I became a part of the Poem Game that I love so much.

Between our interview back in June, we've suffered two crashed Macbooks, he has signed a nice contract to play in France and I've relocated to Toronto to dive headfirst into the "NBA Freelance Writer" tag that is being printed onto business cards bearing my name as we speak. It's been a busy offseason. I really wasn't holding my breath on the poem, but Mr. Benson came through and it was more than worth the wait. I can cross "Having a professional basketball player write a poem for me" off of my list of things to accomplish in life now. Thanks, Rod B, Mad Boom Tho, for real.

Without any further ramblings from me, here is the latest installment of the Poem Game, a little late, a lot of hilarity and of course, all Rod Benson:


I'd say that Holly MacKenzie is my third favorite Canadian girl

Cuz Elisha Cuthbert's hot and Erica Durance rocks my world

Still, if I was Gary Payton on a hoop version of Flavor of Love

She could get a one on one dinner with me, The Glove

That's cuz she loves the game more than most players do

She'll quote some stats then drop a Canadian "Eh?" on you

She's got the genetic makeup of a true fan of the game

Like Bruce Banner, when it comes out she looks insane

I heard she bought NBA Live just to change Kobe's name

The first name was Holly, the last name was "The Flame"

Then she got a copy of NBA Jam just to get on Fire,

I told her that game doesn't have Jordan, she called me a liar

Hoop Dreams, He Got Game, and even Blue Chips

Are all right at the top of the MacKenzie list

If she was Nick Nolte, Shaq never woulda got Lexus Keys

But she'd be dammed if Shaq didn't pass his SAT's

She's on her Q's, P's, and Boom Got Them Three's

And can name every player on the roster in OKC

So I stay up on her blog game, and this is a tribute

She shows me what every Canadian blogger is all ABOOT.

-RB