Saturday, August 9, 2008

Greece-Spain LiveBlog

I got caught up with men's volleyball over on NBC, so I missed the start of this one.

Quick recap of what I've seen so far.

We're going to KILL these guys.

Gasol gets double teamed in the low block, doesn't get aggressive, and ends up with nothing.

Schortsanitis (just accept I'm going to murder the spelling here) is a Goddamn boulder. It's like Jerome James swallowed a bus.

Spain's ball handlers need to quit being playful and just get aggressive. A little more Tony Parker, a little less Monta Ellis, if you catch my drift.

20-16 Spain, by the way. Also, this is your daily reminder that having Snapper Jones only on Lakers broadcasts is a damn shame.

Fernandez has a nice body size.

Here's a tip, Spain. Let the NBA guys shoot. Just a thought.

Hey, Lakers fans, just so you know, it's not just you. Pau Gasol is a pansy in international play, too.

Snapper: "Gasol is not the kind of player that likes a lot of contact." That must have been painful for him to say.

19 footer by Gasol is way off. Perhaps he thinks he's up 24 at home in the Finals. Sorry. I'll stop.

Greece is trying to muscle Spain, which the best option they've got. Slow it down, drag it out, slow down the athleticism.

Gasol gets the drop step going. JCN sighting! Oh, how I've missed you, La Bomba!

Refs are letting them play.

Here's an idea, wipe the floor, kids. The floor is a nightmare right now. That's four slips. 22 all, 2nd quarter.

Marc Gasol is going to be a favorite of mine. Get used to this. He looks like a Godwin brother.

Nice layup by Spanoulis, who's got 10. Good breakaway run.

RUDY FERNANDEZ HUGE SLAM.

Oh, man. Fernandez is going to be good. The Blazers are not even fair. It's absurd.

26-all, 4:14 2nd.

Rudy Fernandez with a one-handed, off-handed running layup put-back. Yeah. Sick. He's all over the floor. He sliced between two defenders on the rebound and layed it back in.

Mountain (Gasol) with another put back. Spain's athleticism is starting to take over now that they're putting the clamp down on defense.

Ricky Rubio, in ten words: Great speed. Small body. Young. Quick off pick. Stupid hair.

34-26 Spain, breaking it open. Mar Gasol is a less polished, but much tougher version of his brother. You can tell he wants to get his hands dirty. That'll probably change the first time Dalembert sets a screen on him.

Rubio wants to gamble on defense. You can see the Spanish coach yelling at him not to fall for it.

I'd love to tell you about Greece, but they're not doing jack right now.

With 1:08, the announcers still have not figured out that ALL the Spanish players have their first names on their jerseys.

Marc Gasol clanks a free throw. He IS a legitimate NBA big man!

MG's nickname is the Tank in Spain. Affirmed.

35-26 Spain. Spain's forcing them into off balance runners. Imagine how that's working out. If Spain's going to have any hope against USA, they have to hope to God they can wear out USA's guards with the speed and athleticism. So like everyone says, it matters how much Kidd plays.

Announcer: "The pick and roll's been working for a hundred years."
Snapper: " Only for certain people."

Nice.

Spanoulis can leap for about nine years. Spanouis is 5 of 6 from the field, 13 points. He's pretty much the only guy for them. Greece might as well run the LeBron James offense with him.

Christian Slater is back like a mofo, by the way. This "My Own Worst Enemy" show? Sounds awesome. The NBA version, of course, is Carmelo Anthony.

In a shocking development, the sports anchor at 2AM CST knows jack about sports. Good job, NBC.

Snapper looks on the halftime show like he's worried something's going to fall out of the ceiling and hit the anchor in the skull.

Michael Phelps looked up to check his time on his last turn. It would have been better if he'd pulled up to flip the bird at everyone else. Though that's probably not the "Olympic Spirit" everyone talks about.

And the Killers sold out "All These Things That I've Done." They are officially the 2000 band that went from "great promise" to "corporate shill."

Navarro doesn't rock no first name jersey crap. The Guns of Navarro speak for themselves.

I'm looking for someone on either team that can guard Dwight Howard. I'll let you know if I find one.

Pau's glass work is probably second best for big men behind Timmy. Shame he doesn't go to it enough.

Gasol went out on the perimeter chasing a block and let his teammates get killed inside. Again, eerily similar.

JCN's been hitting the club. His shot is frozen, blended, and served with lime in a frosty mug.

JCN hits! He heard me! The Guns of Navarro ride again!

In case you were wondering, yes, I just came up with that gag, and yes, I did cry a single tear when I realized I won't be able to use it after the Olympics. Stupid Euroleague.

JCN with the runner! La Bomba! Bring this kid back to the states. Please.

Jose Calderon knocks down a three, and it's 45-31 Spain. Back to the grape leaves, Greeks.

They gave Calderon the lane. Never give Calderon the lane, son. Spanish guards are murdering them in droves, now.

By the way, in the midst of my bitterness toward Atlanta matching Josh Smith's offer sheet and effectively killing a small part of my soul, it may have come off as me insulting Greek food. For the record, I love Greek food. Taverna Kretekou on King street in Alexandria, VA is one of the best meals I've ever had in my life. I like their beer, I like the grape leaves, I like the lamb, I like everything. So just to straighten that up.

Navarro is going right at these guys. Also, he's rocking a modified mohawk.

Oh, Snapper making fun of Memphis. Yeah, keep it up, Snap. That trade's going to have legs in a few years while the Lakers can't figure out why they can't play defense. Oh, sorry, after Bynum wins them 18 championships and solves all of their defensive issues.

52-34. Yeah, Greece isn't making noise in Beijing, kids.

Papaloukis goes to the wrack, and Calderon comes over to apologize for whacking him in the face.
JCN, Pau, and Navarro sit. It's Tank time. Marc Gasol reminds me a lot of Scola. Same energy, same attitude.

Spanoulis with the LeBronis Majorus again.

Everytime the announcers say "Rudy" and pause, I immediately fill in one of the following: A. "...rudy, rudy, rudy Soho!" or B. ... can't fail!"

Greece starting to come back with pressure defense. 56-44, some nice hustle play by Greece, with Navarro and Calderon on the bench. Rubio does not look poised enough for a top pick.

You know all those times when you'd wish Gasol would spin towards the basket and he doesn't? Apparently he thinks that's his brother's schtick.

62-44. The trap's back on. Greece is afriad. Tank goes into a barrier, pops back up, looking like... well, a Grizzlie. I'm not just saying that. Seriously. Like this kid. Which, of course, means he'll suck.

Both teams are 9/28 combined from the arc. On shortened 3 point lines.

JESUS THE MASCOT THINGS ARE EVEN CREEPIER IN COSTUME FORM.

Rudy Fernandez has range, too. Seriously. If you're a serious NBA fan of any team but Portland, and you see Kevin Pritchard? You need to kick him in the nuts and try and steal a hair follicle to try and clone him.

65-51 8:00 4th. Now Spain has to kill clock. This should be entertaining. Calderon shakes and bakes, Jimmy Dolan style, and drains the banker. It pays to have talent. Ah, Marc Gasol flops and goes down defending a much smaller guy. He's a Gasol after all.

Papaloukas is the Greek Tim Duncan, as far as complaining about every call and looking shocked. In Greece, it's the Papaloukas face.

68-53, Spain. Spain's perimeter defense on the pick and rolls is excellent. Great job shutting down the baseline and getting back.

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more Navarro.

Spain has no dribble penetration defense. You can go ahead and read that as "Dwyane Wade and LeBron James may score 100 points together."

I think I see Bill Plaschke.

Ricky Rubio looks like a Jonas brother. Want to know how I know who they are? Because they've infected my Rolling Stone subscription like a Goddamn virus. Seriously. I remember when that magazine took itself seriously. That was nice.

72-53 Spain, 4:05 4th.

Getting up for the USA game is going to be fun. And by fun, I mean hell. Seriously, we can bomb countries for no apparent reason, dictate world markets, ignore the Kyoto Protocol completely, and we can't make the Olympics go on EST? Weak sauce.

Full court press by Greece. Not the team you want to do this against. Spain's in the zone right now.

At The Hive mentions that Navarro is wearing medium length black socks with a white uniform and black shoes. One more reason to love him. *Swoon.

Man, there are some UGLY dudes on these teams. I mean, Carlos Boozer ans Jason Kidd aren't exactly Swayze-esque, but damn.

Rubio slips a double team with ease. His speed is going to be a real asset.

Navarro misses a finger roll. I think it was on purpose, to not make Pau feel bad.

Rubio almost breaks Fernandez' fingers on a drive and kick.

Again, it's not that I'm avoiding talking about Spain, but dear God, these guys suck.

Printezis just schools Rubio in transition. That was embarrassing for the young superstar. 76-61 Spain.

8 second violation. You always want to see that in pro play, and you never do.

76-66, Greece dropping threes like marbles in a bucket. 36 seconds left. They take Navarro out, this is what happens. I'm just saying.

Rubio gets the drive and dish this time.

Rubio nails a near-half court three with 1.4 left. That was impressive. I was going to rag on him, but apparently scores count in tie-breakers.

Well this has been fun.

I miss JCN.

Pau is soft.

Greece is Feta.

We're seriously going to annihilate both of these teams.

Goodnight, sweet international basketball world!

 
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