Thursday, August 14, 2008

Baron Davis Has Tonya Harding'ed Brandon Roy

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - Los Angeles Clippers guard Baron Davis was seen lurking around the home of Portland Trailblazers guard Brandon Roy late last Wednesday night, just hours before it was announced that Roy would undergo arthroscopic knee surgery.

Multiple bystanders were able to identify Davis at the scene, claiming that he was actually wearing his Clippers uniform and complied with several requests for autographs. Witnesses confirmed that Davis was wearing a mask with a large protruding beard, and was carrying a crowbar. However, bystander accounts of Davis' departure differ: several claim that Davis fled from Roy's home on a tandem bicycle with an unidentified passenger, while one man claims that he saw Davis escape in a white 1993 Ford Bronco. Neither account has been confirmed. All witnesses do agree that as Davis left Roy's estate, he screamed "MAKE THE PLAYOFFS NOW, YOU MOTHER [expletive deleted] SON OF A [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] HOLE [expletive deleted] SUCKING [expletive deleted][expletive deleted]!"

Roy averaged 19.1 points and 5.8 assists for the Trailblazers last season. Official team statements indicate that there is no timetable for Roy's return from his unexpected knee injury, but signs point to a return before training camp commences on Sept. 29th. No player has ever been behind schedule on returning from arthroscopic knee surgery.

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