From the mouth of David Stern, via the National Post...
He heard us! He really heard us!*
"I think they're ridiculous. I think that the noise, the fire, the smoke is a kind of assault that we should seriously consider reviewing whether it's really necessary given the quality of our game. It may be that these are the maniacal rantings of a fan from a different era, and I recognize that. But I'm sitting there, waiting for the next cannon to go off and then the fire heats up the arena, so the temperature in the arena raises by 15 degrees. That's if you can see it, because you're still waiting for the smoke, which is chemical, to clear, which invariably isn't done until the end of the half. But I always bite my tongue because I say, ‘I'm not the demographic that likes to be assaulted by loud rap, smoke, pyrotechnics and chemicals. I'm outdated.' But I think it's time for us to say, ‘Hey guys, let's look at it one more time.' And then we can talk about entertainment as well, but that's a subject for another day."
Or maybe not. What music would Stern prefer?
"How do you spell Simon and Garfunkel? Or Billy Joel? Or The Beach Boys? I'm lost. But that's OK. I appreciate it is their new-age music, the hip hop, the rap. It's fine. The reality is I think that what has happened is that very well-intentioned people feel that it's their obligation to root their team on to victory, to urge them. What they do is that they think if you turn up the loud speaker, it's going to help them perform better, even though there are babies in the building. I think it's going to be interesting. I think we should have it as a time capsule item, because in some future century people are going to look and say, ‘What were they thinking about?' And I'm positive — I just saw [Dan Shaughnessy, Boston Globe columnist] — I'm positive that [late Boston coach] Red [Auerbach] is watching and getting ready to call me. I think we've gone over the top."
*Note: Did not actually hear us.