Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Ball Movements 4.8.08

Reasons To Watch The Games Of The NBA Tonight:

Elimination Game For Who Gets Eliminated Now, And Who Gets Eliminated In
Two Weeks:
Let's settle this. Indy, you've been creep, creep, creepin' up the backstair like you doin' something wrong. Atlanta, you've been cooling your heels and keeping pace. Now Indy, you don't win this game,you're out of here. Donezo. It's back to Maybury, for you, Travis. Atlanta, you lose this one, and you know what you're going to hear. "Here comes the collapse." And you don't want to hear that. Now, both of you are going to be nothing but tasty jerky appetizers for Boston should you manage to make it that far, but let's give it the old college try. Good luck, gents! Atlanta at Indiana, 7PM EST.

Two Houses, Both Alike In Dignity: And that's where the Romeo and Juliet comparisons stop. Utah and New Orleans are both top notch organizations on the way to the playoffs. And they do hate each other, passionately. Deron-Run-Run-Run has a stick up his ass about the fact that CP3 gets all the attention. The Hornets got whumped a few times by the Jazz, then got their payback last time. This one's in New Orleans and the Jazz don't play well here. And by "here" I mean "anywhere except Utah." Still, this is a potential WCF matchup and a great rivalry at that. Terrific basketball, boys and girls. It's playoff time. Utah at New Orleans, 8PM EST.

Roses Are Red, Blazers Are Blue, The Lakers Can't Win Usually Win Here, But That's Okay Because Now They're Better Than You: The Lakers have troubles against Portland in Portland. It messes with their Feng Shui and whatnot. But the Lakers are simply better, and the Blazers have nothing to play for at this point. They'll be back with a vengeance next season, but right now they're just trying to move up in the draft. Meanwhile, even though LA's defense may have its issues, their offense is simply unstoppable. There's nothing you can do against it most of the time. With Odom playing as well as he is and Gasol willing to distribute, it's simply pick your poison. I like to think Roy picks hemlock and Aldridge picks being beaten to death with heavy, heavy rocks. LA Lakers at Portland, 10PM EST.

Captain Jack, Back From De Dead: That's what the Dubs need tonight against Sacramento. The Kings are still dangerous, and a loss tonight would put a serious damper on the Dubs playoff plans. They can still make it in, if they can close out business against Sactown and Denver. They're going to need Stephen Jackson, though. He's the key to their team, plain as can be. But he's been AWOL. They need to come out, go on an 18-2 run in the second, rest some starters, and get ready for Thursday. Then again, Spencer Hawes is a big guy and the Warriors don't really have an answer... Sacramento at Golden State, 10:30PM EST.


Minnesota at Charlotte, 7PM EST: Look there are many reasons to watch this game. If you notice, there are many... OH MY GOD! WHAT'S THAT?! LOOK OVER THERE! QUICK! *Duck and runs.

Chicago at Miami, 7:30PM EST: See if you can spot the following. D-Leaguers versus guys who SHOULD be D-Leaguers, Ira Winderman typing D-League cracks at the speed of light, and the vast gaping horde of apathy surrounding this game.

New York at Detroit, 8PM EST: It's "All-Time Team" night in Detroit. They're planning on holding one of these in New York next month, only it's going to be "All-Time Morons Team" night. Guess who's invited to both.

Boston at Milwaukee, 8PM EST: Okay, no seriously. Can the Celtics third stream beat the Bucks?

Phoenix at Memphis, 8PM EST: The Big Cactus is out. Which is sad. Seeing Darko versus Shaq would make for an interesting mirror image. As it is, Darko gets annihilated by Amare. Or... those pesky Grizzlies...

Seattle at Dallas, 8:30PM EST: Or, "How Dirky Got His Groove Back, Part II."

Enver at LA Clippers, 10:30PM EST: This should be on animal planet. It's not often you get to see a living organism actually implode of its own free will.

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