Thursday, April 3, 2008

Ball Movements 4.3.08

Reasons To Watch The Games Of The NBA Tonight:

How's It Gonna Be?: If only we'd asked this question a year ago. How's it gonna be, when the Bulls implode? How's it gonna be when the Cavs are unable to ascend to any level of greatness other than "Wow, LeBron is SICK"? How's it gonna be when Drew Gooden makes the Bulls better but not win more? How's it gonna be when Anderson Varejao is unquestionably a hard worker, but if you add him and Z together, you still only have 75% of an alternative offensive weapon? Hindsight is 20/20. Then again, so might the combined shooting average be tonight. Either way, the Bulls are playing for the lottery, essentially begging for the sweet relief of death (although at least Tyrus is getting burn and making the most of it), and the Cavs have got to put together a winning streak in order to have some level of momentum headed into the playoffs. Expect lots of defense, lots of turnovers, the Bulls to "unexpectedly" hang around (all of the Cavs' opponents have been doing that lately), and then LeBron will do his thing and take over. Still, it's always enjoyable to see these two scrap because of their familiarity with one another, and there's always, of course, the King. Chicago at Cleveland, 8PM EST.

I Know You Are But What Am I?: This has pretty much been the Rockets' motto lately, as bandwagoners leap from the comfy confines as quickly as possible, and the skeptics from earlier in the season are now attaching banners to planes to fly overhead that say "I told you so!" Yet the Rockets are still right in the middle of the playoff race, literally. They're three games out of first, three and a half out of missing them altogether. Safe to say, after the loss to Sacramento, not beating Portland, without Roy and with nothing left to play for, would be a complete disaster the likes we have not seen since White Chicks. Rockets try and salvage some confidence tonight. Oh, and how funny is it that TNT picked this matchup for Yao vs. Oden and got neither? I mean, it sucks for both those guys and I can't wait to have them back, but still. TNT execs must be constantly bewildered by the NBA's ability to screw them. Houston at Portland, 10:30PM EST.

My Elton Brand's Back And You're Gonna Be In Trouble (Via the Corndogg):
Hey Na, Hey Na, My Elton's Back. Ok, seriously. This is not going to do a damned thing for the Clippers. Though, last night's win sure was mighty fine. And tonight, when watch one of the NBA's nicest guys spar against our favorite crazy uncle defender, we are going to realize how good this Clippers team could have been this year. Although, we won't cry about it, like their most die-hard fans will. We will rejoice in the "Pin a Pink Slip on Mike Dunleavy" game we just bought. It comes complimentary with a new EB contract this offseason. LA Clippers at Sacramento, 10PM EST.

(Ed. Note: I don't think there's any way in hell Dunleavy gets fired this season, he's in the same situation as any coach that's had serious injuries to contend with, but worse because he had about a million of them. Also, this song may be the single most aggravating song in existence. Seriously. The chick is obviously screwing around on the boyfriend, and then when she gets busted, she goes and acts like nothing happened and tells the other dude she's going to have her boyfriend kick his ass. It's songs like this that make me glad my wife's actually sane, aside from that obsession with Boom Dizzle's arms. Seriously, she won't stop talking about them. She put up a poster in our bathroom of him. Do you know how distracting it is to try and take a whiz when Boom Dizzle's staring right at you and Matt Barnes is smiling smugly at you? It's alarming.- Matt)

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