Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Ball Movements 4.15.08

Only two more in the regular season! Sniff...

Reasons To Watch The Games Of The NBA Tonight...

1. "We Made It! We Finally Made It! Wait, What's That Sound?": That sound, Hawks fans, is the sound of doom. You've made the playoffs, congratulations. Really. No, no, don't unpack your bags, you won't be staying long. You had a nice run, now it's off to neverneverland and getting smacked into the atmosphere by one Mr. G. But before you go, we do have a parting gift for you. One Magic squad that is going to be limiting it's star players. Here's a hint. If you can't beat Keyon Dooling, Pat Garrity and Morcin Gortat? You're in worse shape than we thought. Orlando at Atlanta, 7:00PM EST.

2. It's Not Going To Stop Till You Wise Up: Minnesota, until you completely load the roster with shooters and scorers to surround the Harbinger, until you get some defense, until you land a knockout draft pick, a guy like Kevin Garnett (okay, bad example), stuff like tonight will keep happening. Where Detroit's bench slaps you around because they're faster, stronger, more athletic, more poised, and better coached than you. Don't feel bad about it. Work to correct it. Or pull another upset like you've been doing sporadically all season. Best of luck, kids. Minnesota at Detroit, 7:30PM EST.

3. You Have A Choice. What Will It Be?: Okay, Sactown. You have a choice. You can gleefully go down into despair. You can tank and surrender. You can give up and let them walk all over you like you have so many times before. Or, this one night, this one time, you can get a small measure of revenge. You have a chance to knock the Lakers back into the 2 spot, denying them homecourt throughout the playoffs and forcing them into a much tougher matchup with the Mavs. You just gotta get it done tonight. You've shown spark all season, and you gave San Antonio a run for its money last night. You get one shot at this. Remember Game 6, boys. Remember Game 6. Sacramento at LA Lakers, 10:30PM EST.

If You Call This A "Must Win," You Clearly Do Not Understand Playoff Seeding (Via the Corndogg): There are only a few times every sporting season when a game is classified as a "must win." Usually, they are associated with games that, with a defeat, you are eliminated from a prolonged season. In that vein, this is not a "must win" for the Hornets. But really, wouldn't you rather have a drunken Melo, a high J.R. Smith and George Karl in your first round rather than the suddenly clutch, ruthless Dirk-ster? Call it what you will, but if I were a Hornet, I Must Win! LA Clippers at New Orleans, 8:00PM EST.

Spread Those Little Wings And Fly, Richard Jefferson (Via the Corndogg): Perhaps we have seen the last of Richard Jefferson as a Net. For his sake, I hope so. After a top 10 scoring season and almost 72 games of health, Jefferson could be on the trading block for the Nets and could find some very amenable suitors. If he goes, good luck. I like Richardson and am happy to see him get away from Matt-man's arch enemy, Vince Carter. Also, the ENTIRE Bobcats team is on fire sale, namely because Robert Johnson hates money. So, if the Spurs want to give up Brent Barry, Matt Bonner and draft picks, they could easily end up with Emeka Okafor and Gerald Wallace. I'm just saying. Crazier things have happened, right Mr. Kupchak? Charlotte at New Jersey, 7:30PM EST.

Only Two More Games Til The Oden Watch 2K9 Begins (Via the Corndogg): With a ton of cap room, lots of young trade bait, a future superstar still on the bench and another lottery pick, its GOT to be an awesome time to be a Blazers fan. You really achieved well beyond what was expected this year, you have the most amusing young player in the league and will surely get a lot better in the offseason. And that whole "Darius Miles Career-Ending Injury" thing means you must have been shoving four leaf clovers up your ****. And, tonight, you get to beat up the Grizzlies, a team with no real future, no owner support, no fans and a the true sting of not having had Greg Oden limp around Beale Street all year. Because Portland, we all know if is better to be the big bully in the lottery than to be garden mulch in the playoffs. Just ask Atlanta. Here come the Blazers! Memphis at Portland, 10PM EST.

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