Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Ball Movements 3.5.08

Reasons To Watch The Games Of The NBA Tonight:

It's A Trap!: The Magic took care of business last night against the Raptors and exacted some revenge. Tonight, they're in the classic trap game. They're on the road, in a back to back, against a team missing it's two best players (but not for long), but has been dangerous against good teams lately. The Wizards are starting to rebound from the slump, and have some dangerous matchups. No one can match BBJ, of course, because he's Big Baby Jesus, but the other matchups aren't terrible for the Wiz. If the Magic come out with another of their patented "Nah, good, but not great's fine for us" performances, the Wiz could eek one out at home. Or Hedo cold do as he deos, and it'll be a blowout. Yet another chance for the Magic to show us something. The Wiz need this one, and how.

The Extremely Movable Object Versus The Very Stoppable Force.: What will happen when Charlotte's offense meats the Warriors' defense? Just for fun, I might record this game and then watch it in reverse. It might make more sense that way. Wallace is still out, but Richardson's been fighting the good fight lately. Too bad the Warriors are warming up for another 4-6 game win streak to get back into solid playoff form. If the Warriors can just manage to look at them, sternly, that should be good enough to force the Bobcats into the 80 point range.

You Gotta Fight! For Your Right! To The OOOOOOONE SEED!: The Biggie in Beantown. The Chowdah Chernobyl. The Gross Exaggeration In the Fake Garden. Yes, friends, it's time once again for Boston versus Detroit. It's amazing how quickly Detroit can decide they don't like a team. Seriously. Bump into Rip Hamilton at the airport and spill his coffee? The Pistons are dumping you in a trash can. And the Celtics obnoxious jersey popping got under their skin. So tonight I would expect a blood bath if I were you. It's a tie series, and they're going to want tie-breakers for the 1 seed, just in case. Time to wrap the fists and sweep the legs, boys and girls.

Lord All He Oversees: King James is in his future kingdom tonight, taking on the Knicks. Don't expect too much out of the ordinary. Knicks hang around till the 4th, then get blown apart. James scores a bunch. Interesting matchup? Who's less effective? Ben Wallace or Eddy Curry?

Toronto > Miami: That's pretty much all you need to know about this one, even without Bosh. Tune in to watch Bargnani and whatever scrub the Heat have at center battle for absolutely nothing.

Over The Top Disgusting: That's how I feel about the Sonics-Bucks game tonight. I mean, seriously. I don't care about the NBA scheduling structure. These two teams should never play one another. Ever. Ever. Ever. But they do. Tune in to see K-Du and Yi gasp for air.

And The Alley Oops Goes Bibby To Williams... Psyche (Via the Corndogg): That sentence would just make Chris Paul laugh. I expect more Tyson slams tonight that the ones I just saw in Semi Pro. Plus, Birdman!

So, How's That Stromile Swift Working Out For Ya? (Via the Corndogg): Perhaps the leasy hyped trade of the year gets to show its teef tonight. Or not, since both teams are harboring futile attempts to not get a better pick in the lottery. Oh wait... New Jersey can still make the playoffs? So that's why they traded. Championship experience!

Wanna Make A Bet, Dreamshake? (Via the Corndogg): I will conceed the 16th straight win tonight, when the Rockets take on the Pacers. But I might put a bright, shiny buffalo nickel on that "Battier shutting down Dunleavy" statement tonight. You know us Dukies stick together, forever. That might be the only thing that makes this game interesting. Well, except for Travis Diener. He is always interesting.
So They Aren't An "Elite" Team, So What? (Via the Corndogg): Oh, I'm actually not talking about the Suns. I'm talking about the Nuggets. Which means that even if Phoenix manages to get 25+ out of the Big Cinderblock Feet tonight and still pull out a W, it won't mean crap. Because well, Denver is lead by Carmelo Anthony. Yeah, that other guy who isn't Lebron or Wade. I'm expecting a big pre-Spurs letdown.
It's Gonna Be A White Out (Via the Corndogg): Just talking about the fans. I mean, its one thing for all us bloggers to be a bunch of white people that like the NBA. We don't pay for season tickets. Now those Jazz fans, they are legit. So is there team. I still like them against most of the teams in the west. Kyle Korver, creepy child-like defense, pillow and all. Oh, and you know Prince and the other 8 non-caucasian folks from Minnesota ain't coming to support the T-Wolves. Crazed-rambunctious-overenthusiastic-neverplayedagoodgameofballinyourlife-white people, have fun tonight. Hope that jumbotron has plenty of K.C. and the Sunshine Band saved.
Can't We All Just Get Along? (Via the Corndogg): Well, maybe. At least from the two struggling California franchises. Also, Crazy Pills and Maggette can get along real good too! Like a sack full of pythons fighting over 1 live rat. You know how they do in Cali, baby. Something says meltdown tonight. I just got that itchy all over feeling. And its not the crabs.

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