Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Ball Movements 3.19.08

Reasons To Watch The Games Of The NBA Tonight:

Keep It On The Down Low: Much like Gilbert's keeping his return date under wraps, so too are the Magic quietly creeping towards the playoffs. In a very subtle way, they've won 5 straight, and are 8-2 in their last 10. They just keep dominating, putting more distance between them and Washington, and not getting any of the attention. Tonight, they put the killing blow to Washington, unless Haywood the Terrible returns and the Lock Smith can lift them up. Butler's obviously less than 80%, and Jamison's choo-choo engine hasn't been able to lift them. Problem is, Philly's coming up their tailpipe, and Washington HAS to avoid Detroit in the 7 spot if they want any hope of making it to the second round.Washington at Orlando, 7:00PM EST.

Play It To The Bone: What better way to compare Charlotte and Indiana? Matt Carroll versus Mike Dunleavy, Jr. It's gonna be amazing. Two "Never-Was"es, facing off against each other for a chance to get annihilated by the champion. Sadly, much like in this classic film, which may be Woody Harrelson's third greatest film behind NBK and White Men Can't Jump, this will inevitably end with both of them exhausted, bloodied, and no one remembering their names whatsoever. And dude, if you can tell me Lucy Liu is gonna show up tonight? That's DVR, baby. Charlotte at Indiana, 7PM EST.

Don't Take Your Guns To Town: Cleveland's feenin' for a signature win. Detroit is a ravenous monster, destroying anyone that gets in their way in the forest, searching for the big green beast. But lo, the monster remembers what the King did last year. DE-TROIT BASKET-BALL is like spinach to the King, and he's due for one of those "Oh My God, how did he do that" games. We'll see if the Pistons can draw before the King can see tonight. We'll all gather round and wonder at his final words, "Don't take your guns to town, son, leave your guns at home. LeBron, don't take your guns to town." Detroit at Cleveland, 8PM EST.

So, To Sum Up: That's a lot like Memphis at Minnesota. Memphis at Minnesota, 8PM EST.

Takin' Care Of Business. Maybe. Possibly. If We Feel Like It.: Golden State is in LA tonight to face the Clip. It seems like forever since the Warriors have had a game against a Western powerhouse, but they're only 7-3 in their last 10. Yes, that's right. The West has reached a point where we thumb our noses at 7-3. Golden State needs to do something they have trouble with- Take Care Of Business- in order to keep Denver off their back. They don't want to end up in a dogfight for the final playoff spot come April. It's games like this that they need to pad the lead with. Golden State at LA Clippers, 10:30PM EST.

The Rumors Of The Big Eclipse Have Been Greatly Exaggerated (Via the Corndogg): The Suns are the one West team streaking righ now (sorry, Rockets fans. We do commend you though). Phoenix has found a way, at least temporarily, to be a chameleon-like contender. Although we were some of the first to go all Hatchet vs. Genitals when the trade happened, we are coming around. Cannot wait to see Shaq get all monstrous on Johan Petro tonight. Or as I like to refer to it -- Target Practice. Phoenix at Seattle, 10:00PM EST.

I Wonder If Larry Brown Will Have A Cameo Tonight? (Via the Corndogg): There is only one storyline that matters tonight. AI back in Philly to get some brotherly (and sisterly) love from all the fans. Well, the Sixers are actually in the playoffs right now, and the Nuggets aren't. So, maybe that is a storyline too. But hey, give the man a break, it's all about Iverson tonight. And for once, that is ok with us. I predict a line of 35/5/5 steals. Takers? Denver at Philadelphia, 7PM EST.

Hey Shawn, They Ran You Out Of Phoenix Too? (Via the Corndogg): Marion meets the man that drafted him tonight, when Miami marches up to Toronto to get slaughtered. I am sure Bryan Colangelo (another Phoenix good guy who ain't around anymore) will have some kind words for the Matrix and his band of merry blowhards. Anybody think Marion can get comeback player of the year next year, because being in Miami is like going M.I.A. Well, maybe he can kick it with our boy, Skeets, tonight. That way we will know if he is truly still alive. Miami at Toronto, 7PM EST.

It's Like Playing A Game Of Chicken -- With The Playoffs (Via the Corndogg): Let's see who can lose the most games and still get into the postseason -- the Nets or the Hawks. Since it appears that only 1 of them is good less eye bleedingly atrocious enough to get in, as of today, then someone has to back down and be treated like a bitch tonight. My money is on Vince Carter, because Matt and I are friends. Atlanta at New Jersey, 7:30PMEST.

The Only Streaks Left In Houston (Via the Corndogg): Are the ones the Mexican food left in your compression shorts. So you are irrelevant again, huh Rockets? At least you have that pesky #1 seed to play for. And tonight, a good way to not mourn your sudden media collapse (I mean, really, you are the fun n' gun Suns, or the Kobe-Lakers or the defending SA champs) is to start winning all over again and push away the #3 Hornets. Just watch out for the actual MVP candidate on the floor tonight. Not the guy on the floor who led his team to 23 straight wins. I'm talking about Chris Paul. Damn, Houston, nobody loves you. Well, except these two. Houston at New Orleans, 8PM EST.

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