Monday, March 17, 2008

Ball Movements 3.17.08

Happy St. Patrick's Day to ye.

Reasons To Watch The NBA Tonight:

She Said I'm Better Off Dead:Dear Lord, why must you give us Charlotte at Memphis? Is this punishment for the decline of NCAA basketball ratings and the rise of the NBA? Because UNC vs. Memphis would actually be a damn good game, and may happen here in a few weeks. But this? This is putrid. This is wretched. I wouldn't punish my children for defecating on the floor by making them watch this. I wouldn't leave this on in my living room for fear my dog in her pen will suffer brain damage. But still... we're junkies. And Okafor versus Darko should be entertaining. And Rudy Gay versus Gerald Wallace... Oh, Jesus I need help. Charlotte at Memphis, 8PM EST.

三场风暴。: The Storms. The Three Storms: I really should just rename this damn blog Big Trouble In Little Cylinder for all the Big Trouble In Little China References I drop. Anyway. Big gigantic, monumental, huge, classic, awe-inspiring, bowel-loosening, fear-spreading, world-ending, oh-my-God-we're-all-gonna-die matchup tonight. Celtics at Spurs. The Spurs are reeling and the fanbase is starting to get spooked on whether this team has the legs to make another run. But stomping out Boston would go a long way to quelling those concerns. Meanwhile, the Celtics clinched their division, have a 4.5 game lead over Detroit for the top seed, and could use some healing time, but don't expect it. This is the type of team that will go full strength till the #1 seed is locked up. And say what you want about tonight being just another game, both of these teams know it's not. Rumble at the Alamo tonight. Boston at San Antonio, 8:30 PM EST.

2 Legit. 2 Legit 2 Quit: Does Cleveland have the horses to run with the rest of the East with that fancy new lineup? Does Orlando have even an ounce of legitimate claim to the East? We get a look tonight as Cleveland and Orlando face off in the Magic Kingdom. LeBron's trying to remain positive, but let's be honest. You're not going to consistently get a solid performance out of Ben Wallace. You're just not. May I suggest a heaping helping of Lance Allred (D-LEAGUE!)? Orlando's got to win this game just to get people off their back. Seriously. This team is going to win it's division, is set up for years to come, is getting solid contributions from multiple players, has one of the brightest young stars in the league, and everyone is dead set on picking them apart as incapable of making it even out of the first round. I'm not saying they have a shot in hell for making it out of round 2, but damn, hataz, what's the dealio? Every which way but loose, this thing needs some sorting out. The games that matter are coming folks. Can you feel it? Cleveland at Orlando, 7PM EST.

No Matter Who Wins, They Lose: Minnesota needs another lottery pick. So do the Clip. Problem: They play each other. If they somehow manage to end up in a tie at regulation, can they just call it even? Would you feel upset with that, as a fan? There's some nice young talent, here, though, so we'll enjoy it. Everytime big Al steps on the floor we're enthused. Either one. LA Clip at Minnesota, 8PM EST.

That's A Lot Of Dead Weight (Via the Corndogg): Between Jerome "The Contract" James and Eddy's Curry's lame legs, the Knicks are just holding on to a ton of awful baggage. No Marbury either. I am not even sure who is going to play for them tonight. The good thing is that it doesn't matter, because they are the Knicks and God hates them. Speaking of dead weight, they are shopping for Billy Freakin King!. Yeah, you know him, the architect of the mess that used to be the 76ers. So wait, when a guy builds a team and they are terrible, but when he leaves and they get better under a new GM who is competent, that person should be rewarded with another job? Yep, sounds like Knick logic to me. This one will definitely be worth the rumors. New York at Indiana, 7PM EST.

Well, At Least We Know That Joe Johnson Reads Our Site (Via the Corndogg): I am not sure whether it was Kobe day or the way I constantly call him out all over the internets, but Joe Johnson has decided to try and be a winner. Good timing too, since you can actually make the playoffs in the East at 15 games under .500. When HP talks, people listen. Also, great to see HP fave Tough Juice back for the Wizz. They need him too, cause they dont want to lose that 6 seed to the surging Sixers. Someone is not going to be happy with the outcome tonight. How's that for a definitive declaration? Atlanta at Washington, 7PM EST.

This Will Be An Entertaining Basketball Game (Via the Corndogg): The Hornets seems to be struggling a bit. The Bulls are looking for any reason to keep on playing this year. Noah and Thomas (if he is still even with the team?) vs. West and Chandler will be an absolute dogfight. This should be the kind of game where Nola tries to get its bench some minutes, but I just don't see that happening. I am really worrying about CP3 getting worn out. On the other hand, he is matched up against Larry Hughes tonight. HA HA HA HA. It's almost like taking a nap. Chicago at New Orleans, 8PM EST.

Are There Even Newspapers In Salt Lake Or Toronto (Via the Corndogg): Of all the playoffs teams in both conferences, do any 2 of them get less coverage than these guys. I bet we are the only people that are even writing 3 sentences about this game. I mean, we know there are great blogs for both team (My Utah Jazz and Dinosty are just a couple), but as far as "the talking cheese doodles" go, it seems like these two teams are as well liked as the back end of a spicy curry. The fundamentals of the Jazz should prevail against the whimsy of the Raptors. I personally think this game will be highly entertaining. And neglected. Like your mom. Toronto at Utah, 9PM EST.

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