Friday, March 14, 2008

Ball Movements 3.14.08

Reasons To Watch The Games Of The NBA Tonight:




You Can Rondo/Deron-Run-Run But You Can't Hide: This is downright dirty. If Jerry Sloan is ever going to resurrect the brutal defense his teams are known for and get mean, tonight's the night to do it. The Jazz are in Boston to face the Celtics. There's not as much pressure on the Jazz with the 4 seed surely in hand and the rest of their division a roadside smattering of pulp, but still, it's the West, and every game counts. On the flip side, Boston could use some reassertion against the West's best, who they were 16-0 against at one point, but have started dropping a few against. This is what the Celtics are reduced to, in terms of motivation. Rondo versus Deron should be a fantastic matchup, but look for Rondo to get away with some tonight in the friendly confines of the (fake) Garden. Bigger question. Do you put Boozer's quickness or Okur's size on Garnett? And who the hell is going to guard Pierce? Utah at Boston, 7:30PM EST.




The Night They Tore Old Miami Down:
Riley's scouting players. DWade's on the shelf. And Big Baby Jesus comes a calling. It's safe to say Howard will get 24 and 16, conservatively, right? Even if he's benched in the third? It must be nice to be a Magic fan and realize that essentially you have a shootaround tonight that nets you a W. Of course, maybe you're just depressed by how miserable the competition is. Anyway, if snuff films and Hostel are your kind of bag, tonight's game is for you. Orlando at Miami, 7:30PM EST.





I Wish That I Knew What I Now, When I Was The Three Seed: The Sixers head into Chitown tonight to take on a Bulls team that was once touted as all the good that can come of building around young, athletic players. Let this be a lesson to you, Philly. I'm still not sold on Philly, in any sense of the word, but the Bulls, despite a recent .500 streak, just seem to get worse with each game. Hinrich can't keep up with Miller this season, Ben Gordon might as well be giving Iggy air traffic controller signals to the basket, and no way is Noah stopping Dalembert. But there should be lots and lots of defense! Check in to see which team wants to lose to the Pistons or Celtics more. Philadelphia at Chicago, 8:30PM EST.






Diener Is Served: Sorry, couldn't resist. Mavericks get to beat the hell out of another Eastern team tonight to make themselves feel better about not being able to beat any capable Western team. Josh Howard will have 20 and 10, Dirk will have 24 and 15, and the White-Out will have some decent numbers against Kidd's atrocious defense. Oh yeah, and the Mavericks win by 15. Be sure to tune in to see a team where a 7' German dude is the core of one team, and a 6'9'' bag of Wonderbread is the core of the other. Indiana at Dallas, 8:30PM, EST.


The Rockets Are Finally Legal (Via the Corndogg): #21 tonight................................................................................................... oh yeah, and we like Carl Landry.Charlotte at Houston, 8:30PM EST

Boring... BORING! (Via the Corndogg): jk lol omg. Ssssseriously, this is going to be an awesome game (see, it even makes me studder in cyberspace). CP3, fresh off a new that awesome suspension of Bruce Bowen gets to take on his majesty, Mr. Bean. We will say that the superstars and role players really kind of cancel each other out. So... that means the game will ultimately be decided by the benches. Birdman n' Bonzi vs. Farwaljajiaf. I think I'll have the veal. LA Lakers at New Orleans, 8:30PM, EST.




It's Almost As If We Are In The Delorian (Via the Corndogg): We are back to the future tonight, as two very likely NBA Finals teams square off tonight in a passionate, superstar-fueled duel to the death. Somewhere, and ABC exec begins to write a suicide note. On the bright side... MORE THEO RATLIFF! (ed. note: I will gladly send anyone a check for $100 dollars if they have ever bought one of Mr. Ratliff's Rebound Energy Drinks. I feel confident in saying this, because much like a marriage after being on "The Moment of Truth," it does not exist).

The Other Other Guy In The 2003 Draft Class (Via the Corndogg): Poor Bosh. Awesome numbers. Developing into a leader. Holding his team together despite a crazy offense, Rasho on defense and a bunch of guys that no speaka the sama language. I mean, damn, even Darko gets more press that this dude (well, besides those awesome commercials). Taking it to Melo tonight and helping move your team farther up the East rankings (and further away from the cesspool in the 7-8 slots) would be a nice start. Nah. On second though, do more commercials. Toronto at Denver, 9:00PM EST.




Minnesota At Seattle, 10:30PM EST: Yup, that pretty much does it for this one.

 
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