Brief one today, kiddos, for the Master-at-arms is quite the sick puppy, and not in the Ron Artest way.
Where There's A Wally, There's A Way: Cleveland's 7-3 in their last 10, and they've got Varejao back, and soon Pavlovic. But really, the answer is Wally. You know, the one that just keeps jackin' up shot and only hits about 3 of 10, but somehow gets a standing ovation from Quicken Loans every time he does? He's got magical powers, that wee sprite does. Yes he does. Watch him take apart the Portland Trailblazers tonight, who we told you were going to wilt before the playoffs! Portland at Cleveland, 7:00PM EST.
We Now Return You To Your Regularly Scheduled, Laborious And Predictable Dominance (Via the Corndogg): After a white hot shooting bonanza (by the Nuggets, in Denver) and an overly emotional, "we can't let this one get away from us" game (from the Suns, in Phoenix), the Spurs will just take what they have learned, internalize it and use their suffocating defense and motion offense to easily dismiss Denver tonight (in San Antonio) -- kind of like Strong Guy does with kinetic energy. Denver at San Antonio, 8:30PM EST.
Has Anyone Seen My Key(on Dooling)? (Via the Corndogg): Seriously, a team that plays Jameer Nelson and the aforementioned Dooling in their backcourt cannot scare any of the 3 best teams in the East, doesn't matter if you have Superman and Mr. Threekake himself; however, you can sufficiently squash the uselss Hawks and further drive them down the standings in the East. Atlanta at Orlando, 7:00 PM EST.
Speaking of Superheroes (Via the Corndogg): I am finally starting to think of the Celtics as a real team -- mainly because of their great nicknames (all of which sound vaguely comic-booky): El Tigre Monstruoso, Big Baby, Powe4Sho, House, Ray Ray, P Smoothe (alright, I just made that one up), Big Perk and Rondo. That, and they are going to crush the surging Sixers tonight as a wake up call to the rest of the East. Having that playoff spot already locked up is kind of nice. Boston at Philly, 7:00 PM EST.
Bad Signs Of Bad Basketball: When Al Thornton is the second best player on a court for the night (Matrix)? That's a bad sign. Clippers at Heat, 7:30 PM EST.
I Was Only (At) Nineteen: All I ever wanted to do... was crash the offensive boards with Lou(is)... The Nets visit the red HOT HOT HOT Rockets tonight as the Rocks go for 19 in a row. We're riding the gravy train now, you better believe it. We've mocked T-Mac mercilessly. Now we can't get by without him, and his big brown eyes. Nets at Rockets, 8:30PM EST.
Kidd N' Play: Tonight the part of Play will be played by Dirk Nowitski. Knicks at Mavs, 8:30PM EST.
Back with the Kobe Bryant Day Primer later, kiddos. Keep all hands, feet, and other objects to yourself in the meantime.