As we sat in Pat O'Brian's on Friday night, occasionally glancing over to see if Pau was going to join his buddy JCN at the next table over (we're not name-dropping, we were goofy idiot fan boys when JCN walked in; the whole thing was just f*cking ridiculous), Skeets said something to us.
"You gotta cut down on the 15, though, man. It's f*cking looong."
We'd been debating this for a while. On the one hand, God knows there are days when we don't want to write 15 items on the three crappy games of the night, one being Lakers-Spurs when you already know everything there is to know about the teams, and another being that it takes time to research and develop them, to make them interesting without repeats. On the other, though, was a commitment we made. It felt like if we didn't do the full 15, we'd be cheating, giving in, letting the scheduling committee beat us. But we're posting a lot more now, and starting to do some work for other sites (which truly must be a sign of the apocalypse). But more importantly, we feel like the 15 has started to drag. It's getting harder to come up with good ones. And we don't want to do that. We'd rather do fewer shots and nail them all, than jack up a bunch of trash. That's what separates us from Ricky Davis. And we value that.
So for the remainder of the week, we're trying out different styles. Today we're doing one Footer per game, and tomorrow we'll do a set number, and Thursday we'll do something else. We want your feedback, because after all, if it weren't for you, we'd just be doing basketball blogging masturbation. And we'd hate for that to get in the way of our actual masturbation. Also, if you boys and girls have a name for this here daily gidget we run, let us know in the comments.
Reasons To Watch The Games Of The NBA Tonight:
1. Big Boobies and Beer (Via the Corndogg)- Houston at Cleveland 7PM EST, 6PM CST: Well, since Nancy Ferry isnt going to make any moves, looks like its the Boobie show from here on out. Daniel Gibson has to come up big the rest of the way (as well as keep the ball away from Larry Hughes) for the Cavs to have any shot and getting anywhere past the first round. Also, something tells me Houston is just lying in wait, hanging out, barely sneaking by. Only to be ready to pounce like a panther when the postseason hits. Nah, they got McGrady.
2. Isiah, Masquerading As Lieutenant Dan (Via the Corndogg)- New York at Washington, 7PM EST: So what if you pelt his ship with harsh weather or famine. Do you think his arrogance and ignorance will be broken? Of course not, as Zeke has already said he won't mess up his team's "chemistry." Even Mr. Wizard knows this is one volcano that is about to blow. Stay away from the molten lava, Tough Juice.
3. Don't Cha Wish Your Team Was Hot Like Me? (Via the Corndogg)- Orlando at Detroit, 7:30PM EST, 6:30PM CST: So everyone thinks the Pistons are going to steamroll everyone until they get to the ECF. Most everyone seems to think Orlando, though brandishing "The Savior," doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of putting up a fight againt the Big 2 in the East come postseason. Well, tonight is a chance to tell those stupid bloggers to shut up. You feelin' me, Dwight?
4. Hope Springs Eternal (Via the Corndogg)- Philadelphia At Minnesota, 8PM EST, 7PM CST: This phrase can be inserted into a myriad of statements, but the most common one has to do with playing the Timberwolves. Tonight, the Sixers broadcasters can say something like "Well JoJo, when you are in Minnesota and trying to lock up a playoff spot, hope springs eternal." Get it? Because the Wolves are so bad, that even Philly can beat them? No? Damn literary references. Look for AI2 and Co. to continue their improbably march to non-lottery legitimacy, if there is such a thing.
5. Haven't We Been Here Before (Via the Corndogg)- Charlotte at San Antonio, 8:30PM EST: Please read the entry above and apply it to Charlotte vs. SA. The only way hope doesn't spring eternal for the Spurs is if Duncan missed his flight back from NOLA. But hey, even from the Big Easy TD can hit a few bank shots. So, Charlotte might want to take tonight and just enjoy the River Walk or listen to some Tejano music, cause I don't expect the rested Spurs team to dilly dally too much with the Cats tonight.
6. Is That Artest In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Scared To See Us?-Boston at Denver, 9PM EST, 7PM MST: The boys in Green head to the Rockies to take on the all-flash, no fundamentals squad called the Nuggets tonight. This is a pretty sexy game, with Melo versus Pierce, AI versus Allen, and the tantalizing prospect of the return of El Tigre Monstruoso to the lineup. Denver's still mulling the Artest trade, trying to decide whether or not to let Kleiza out the door and if they can get Nene in on this. Boston's likely to come out on a post-All-Star-Break tear, so look for Denver to get turned green with envy.
7. No One Gets Out Alive (Without A Hot-Dog)- Golden State at Utah, 9PM EST, 7PM MST: Talk about your clash of styles. Yes, both teams run quite a bit. And both teams have great offenses. But you compare the strict disciplinary action of Jerry Sloan to the breakneck Kool-Aid Acid Test of the Warlocks, and you've got yourselves a strategic tangle. Of course, the big thing that might come into play tonight is that hometown cookin' for the Jazz. The Jazz have lost 3 games at home this season. Three. One of those was not Golden State. They've outrebounded the Dubs 94-67 in two meetings this season. Luckily, now the Warriors have Chris Webber to...hahahahaha. Sorry. Couldn't resist.
8. The Sheldon Williams Era Begins! -Sactown at Portland, 10PM EST, 7PM PST: The Kings begin the AB (After-Bibby) Calendar Year tonight as Sheldon Williams and the rest of the scrubs suit up for the Kings. Here's the lineup tonight. Beno Udrih, KevMart, Crazy Pills, Mikki Moore, Brad Miller. I emailed Tom to ask him about the Kleiza trade and he thinks the same thing I do. He joked that if they get Kleiza and push Salmons to the start, they make the 8th seed in the West. But next year? Not a joke. At all. On the other side, Portland better start bringing the funk or they're going to be the Mountain Dew Code Red of the NBA. Awesome for a few months, but eventually sold wholesale.
9. No, Really, You Go Ahead. I Insist. No, I Insist- Memphis at Seattle, 10PMEST, 7PM PST: Well, we've reached the halfway point, and we know who's good and who's not so good. Which means it's time for the good teams to turn it up a notch and the bad teams to crank it down like me turning down the air conditioner when the Paroxiwife passes out reading whatever Michael Ondaatje she's perusing. Yes, it's time to Tank like Frank. Memphis already ditched Gasol, and now they're looking at moving Miller to. Like a Radioshack Clearance sale, get all the junk you want for less! Seattle's just plugging along, trying to figure out where the hell they're going to play next year, and trying to get Kid Delicious to settle down some. If 74% combined shooting is your bag, baby, this one's for you!
10. Random Wikipedia Analogy of the Day (Via The Random Article Link; No Cheating)- Atlanta at LA Lakers, 10:30PM EST, 7:30 PST: Consider this your sleeper pick for game of the night. You've got Bibby taking the floor for the first time with the Hawks. The young guns and Kobe trying to keep the ball rolling and stay in the hunt for home-court. And the Hawks finally have a point guard they can trust and believe in (sorry about that, Acie). This has all the drama of the nominees of the Student Academy Awards! Also, we think Josh Smith should submit a film for this competition. He can be the next Bob Saget!