Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Usual Trailblazers

Thanks to Yahoo! Sports for the image.

*Travis Outlaw limps into the room

Oden: Sit down. You want some coffee?

Outlaw: No, thanks.

Oden: Who is "LeBron James?"

Outlaw: Oh, f*ck.

Oden: Tell me. C'mon, Travis. Don't make this hard on yourself. Tell me.

Outlaw: They say he was from Ohio. Nobody believed he was real. Nobody ever knew him or anybody who actually played with him. But to hear Bill Walton tell it, anybody could have played with him. You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick Michael Jordan ever pulled, was convincing the world, he wasn't vicious. But that was until last night. See, the Blazers, they wanted their own mob. They realized that to be in power, you didn't need small forwards, or point differentials, or experience. You just needed the will to beat whoever you came up against. After a while, they came into power, and had James into their place. He comes to Portland in the middle of the week. They run out to a sizable lead, and are even up 11 with 4 minutes remaining. The Blazers knew James was tough, so they fouled Gooden to make the point. James, looks over at the faces of his teammates, then he showed these men of will what will really was. He told me, he would rather let that fan talk trash to him, than lose to an up and coming Northwest division team. He let me go. He waited till his teammates were out of the way, and then he goes after the Blazers. He kills their guards, he kill their forwards, he kills their centers, and their role players. He kills their fans, their announcers; he kills the guy selling hotdogs and the bloggers watching at home. And then poof, he's gone. A spook story. Let the Cavs within 11, LeBron James will get you. Nobody ever really believed.

Oden: Do you believe in him, Travis?

Outlaw: Roy always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well, I believe in God, and the only thing I'm afraid of is LeBron James.

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