Thursday, January 17, 2008

15 Footer 1.17.08

Another three game Thursday. To help us out, we've enlisted the fine bloggers over at My Utah Jazz and Pick Axe and Roll to help us out with the Utah at Denver rivalry game. They did the content, we did the headlines. This should be fun. If you want to guest-spot on the 15 Footer, drop us a line at hardwoodparoxysm (at)

15 Reasons To Watch The Games In The NBA Tonight:

From My Utah Jazz:

1. It's Kind Of Like Surreal Life, Only With People That Can Kill You With Their Bare Hands: This may be the first unofficial episode of what could possibly become the best reality show ever. Put Carmelo Anthony, Allen Iverson, Andrei Kirilenko and Mehmet Okur in a house and have them live together during the offseason. You could sell the awkward cricket chirping moments to advertisers, and there would be a lot of cricket moments during the show. Definitely a good money maker for the league.

2. Fit To Be Tied: I'm sure Marcus Camby and the Nuggets feel like they have something to prove against the Jazz. And they should considering a video like this is posted on the YouTube. Ben HandLotion over Camby? I bet Ben has this video looped to play 24/7 in all the TV's of his 2 bedroom 1 bath Boston townhome.

3. Much Like Major League 2, This Time It's For Real: Seriously, this game means something. I know it is only January and we are barely half way through the season but this game is B-I-G big. At least for the Jazz it is, we need this win like AK needs another free pass. A win tonight goes a long to proving that we are back and ready to play as champions.

4. Road Whore-iors: Can The Jazz win a road game? Seriously, can they? The Jazz are 6 - 14 on the road this year and have only prevailed in 1 of their last 11 roadies. (Just saw something that made me feel better about this though - the Nuggies are 7 -10 on the road and the Blazers are 6-11. We are not the only team in this division that sucks on the road.) (Ed. Note: Which obviously bodes well for the playoffs considering seeding is random and all games are played on neutral cou...wait. - Matt)

5. Could It Be An All Blue-Powder Jersey Night?: How much do we have pay to see this? Seriously, lets find out and make it happen. (Ed. Note: And in two sentences, My Utah Jazz eclipses the entire history of the 15. Thanks, jack*sses. See if we ask you for help ever again. You're supposed to be witty, but not wittier than us, dig?- Matt)

6. You Can Find No Better (Unless You Wait An Hour And A Half): Because other than the four teams in Cali, one in Portland, one in Seattle, one in Phoenix, couple good teams in Texas, who else would you watch in the West? (Ed. Note: Don't forget Houston, New Orleans, and Minnesot...okay, not them.- Matt)

From Pick Axe And Roll:

7.Let The Good Times Roll...Down A Mountain And Gather Speed And Snow To Obliterate Our Peaceful Village: For a team that was projected as a dark horse for the NBA title the Nuggets are proving that they are not dark, they are opaque. Any belief that this is an elite team can be shattered by noting the Nuggets are only 9-11 against teams that are currently .500 or better and 4-7 against the top six teams in the west. In the Northwest Division they have already been passed by the Oden-less Trailblazers and should they lose tonight's home game against the Jazz they will be effectively tied with Utah, who at one point lost 11 of 14. Oh and by the way, the Nuggets have already gone through the easiest part of their schedule.

Thanks, gentlemen. Sounds like you're both confident excited accepting of tonight's matchup. Great work. Back to HP...

8. Let's See Who You Really Are... Old Man Winters?!: The fuzziness of early season has worn off. Injuries are starting to accrue. And while there's not as much intensity as you'll see in March, there's a little bit of chippiness starting to insert itself in games. You saw it when AI got tossed the other night. We're due for a brawl any minute. The West is particularly contentious. Let me put it this way. There are five teams within a half game of the Western Conference lead. Five. Two of them play tonight. The Conference-leading Lakers face the Suns tonight at Staples. Win, and they've got a game lead on Phoenix for both Conference and Pacific Division, you've won the season series and by extension the tiebreaker over Phoenix, and everyone starts automatically crowning them as champions (it pays to live and die in L.A.). Lose, and you're staring at the Suns' and possibly the Spurs' backside, and are neck and neck with New Orleans and Dallas. And you're going to have people abandoning ship on account of your season being wrecked by Bynum. Is this true? Probably not, but that's what happens if you lose on national television to a division rival with the lead at stake. Welcome back to the big time, LA.

9. Are We Men, Or Really Fast, Offensively-Efficient, Slightly Dysfunctional Mice?: Phoenix, on the other hand, have their own set of problems. Grant Hill's still out. They're on the road. Their backs are against the wall. Everyone's panicking at home. The league is starting to say the window isn't just closed, it's been shut, sealed, and bricked up. There's dissension in the locker room and we've seen potholes with more depth. Tonight's about as much of a must-win as you'll find this time of year for a team as good as the Suns. Bynum's out, so the inside deficiencies should be evened. A loss here would be, in a word, bad.

10. This Ain't Memphis, Boyo: LeBron's been ripping it up. But tonight, he's in old San Antone taking on the team that mopped the floor with him last year. He's going to need one of those 50 point bukkakes if he's going to top the Spurs at home. Even though San Antonio has gone into cruise control in anticipation of the playoffs, they still always wake up long enough to pound the Eastern conference "contenders" into pulp before lumbering back to the cave for a nap.

You Know What's Coming At Halftime (Via The Corndogg): In response to our fantastic articles detailing the abysmal idiocy of half time spectacles at NBA games, the Lakers organization (thanks, Jer) has decided to host a preliminary contest of the World Beard and Mustache Growing Championships. A nice, simple homage to the two best uses of facial hair in the league by Caucasian coaches (namely, the only two to not own a razor) D'Antoni and Phil. We at HP are changing the world, 1 half time show at a, uh, time.

12. Brent Barry Bonanza! (Via The Corndogg): Perhaps the only person on the Spurs that we don't hate. We still remember his dunks. We still remember his dad shooting "granny shot" free throws (well, not really. But we have heard stories). And he actually plays in a manner that doesn't make us want to throw our boots through the TV screen. So, for once, let's give it up for BB.
~~~~ We apologize for the interruption. We now return you to our regularly scheduled hatred.~~~~

13. F#@K YEAH! Rematch Of Last Year's NBA Finals (Via The Corndogg):...................................Peyton Manning commercial.....................................Hubie Brown makes sense................................What Hubie? You are swallowing your tongue.......................(Expletive).............................Suns v. Lakers.

14.One (Alright, Two) Games To Settle It All (Via The Corndogg): Matt thinks Lebron is the MVP right now. I think Kobe is. We get to see both of them in the national spotlight tonight. Send us your thoughts. Just remember, Matt hates puppies, rainbows, democracy, hamburgers and women. Please put your opinion in the comments section. (Ed. Note: Corndogg had sex with your girlfriend/boyfriend/pet when you were visiting your mother.)

15. Random Wikipedia Analogy Of The Day: Sometimes on your team, you need a guy that will break the system. Just will go out and do his own thing. The Warriors are entirely built around these types of guys. Ronnie Turiaf is such a guy. Diaw would be served by doing so. Of course, when you think of freelance individuals, you think of Peter Martin, freelance Australian drummer.

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