15 Reasons To Watch the Games of the NBA Tonight:
1. The Half-time Show Better Be Fantastic: Kings at Nets. Hmmm. Um... Artest vs. Jefferson? Um... A team without their point guard versus a team who's star point guard hates them? Erm... Kevin Martin versus Carter? How about Spencer Hawes versus Sean Williams? Um. You get to see the improved play of Brad Miller? Let's just put it this way. We hope you like defense. (Note: having said this, this will predictably become a double OT thriller with multiple career performances. You're welcome Nets-Kings fans.)
2. Let Us See Who's Behind That Mask: Okay, Chicago, you got to work over the Knicks, regroup, circle the wagons, rest the legs, and other cliches. Now, if you're going to keep up the recent surge (6-4 in the last 10), you have to get past the cause of all your early season distraction and his merry band of Lakers. We know we won't see the great Thomas vs. Bynum matchup we want, since as we speak Skiles is pulling a Madsen in Kill Bill 2 on Tyrus. So Ben Wallace, you better wake up and remember how to play defense, because Bynum's going to kill you inside otherwise. Oh, and Kirk, if you could stick around and not go scrounging for food like you have been for most of the season? That would help, too.
3. When The Yeti Sings: Chris Kaman has been terrific. That statement has boggled us, not only with its sheer absurdity, but with the resounding nature of its solidity. The Yeti-Man has played All-Star ball, and all nine of the Clippers wins can be tied to him. We'll have to wait till next season, or at least March, to see if he's Boris Diaw circa 2005, or actually coming into his own, but for right now, he's a joy to watch. Seeing him against Bargnani may cause fits of glee from us the likes of which have never been seen in the Western Hemisphere.
4. Mr. Jamario Will Have A Seven and 7, Thank You: Jamario Moon is averaging 7.7 points, to go along with 7.1 rebounds. We just think that number is awesome. We also like Seagram's, so that's good. We also like Jamario. So that's good. There's just goodness all the way around here. Fun times.
5. You're Actually Not The One We Feel Most Sorry For, Jas: We feel worst for RJ in Jersey. They guy doesn't blow up like Kidd. He doesn't disappear like Carter (not anymore). He's not a primadonna, or a PR liability, or a toughness issue, or a locker room cancer. He shows up, puts up numbers all over the board, takes responsibility, and shows up the next day for work. We would actually rather RJ gets traded, so he could go somewhere and be the kind of Josh Howard guy teams are looking for and need, especially in the playoffs. Until then, though, RJ's stuck. Stuck with Kidd, stuck with Carter, stuck with the abhorrent black hole of suck that is their front court.
6. The Greatest Show With Nerf: We've become more impressed with the Lakers as the year has gone on. Partially because we've had to see them so much that Derek Fisher's perimeter shooting, Andrew Bynum's humongous tree arms, and Luke Walton's distorted face of disgust at himself have all been permanently etched into our dreams and haunt us in our daily lives, but also because they've played well enough to deserve it. But the problem is that we find ourselves saying the same things. Wow, that team is really pretty good for the players it has. But do we think they can beat Phoenix, San Antonio, or Dallas in a seven game series? No way. Now, trust us. We watched the entire painful annihilation of the Suns earlier this year. And we understand that they have a considerable amount of talent, one of the best young big men in the league, a veteran shooter and a lively frontcourt. But it still feels like this is the best Intramural team ever assembled... and Kobe. Maybe it's Luke Walton and the gigantic step backwards he's taken this year. Maybe it's how Lamar Odom limps along, doing just enough. Maybe it's Ronnie Turiaf's mascot-like qualities. Maybe it's Mad Rad being their best bench player. But for some reason we just aren't scared of them. Yet. maybe they'll send the Bulls back to Chicago going "Oh, yeah! We're completely inferior in almost every way!" But for now, we're still keeping an eye on them for signs of a collapse.
7. The Great Udrih Debate: Basketbawful's taken the lead on defending the guy in a reasonable manner, while Sactown Royalty still hasn't decided on him . His per 40 numbers aren't terrific, but they aren't horrible either. The problem is, right now in the NBA, point guard is more important than any other position on the floor. And it's an awfully big risk to take to find out whether he's the real deal or not. The Debate continues tonight as he faces the standard bearer in point guards, one Mr. J. Kidd.
8. This Is Not A Good Sign For Your Frontcourt: Brad Miller could be the difference maker tonight, as he should have an easy time against this Nets interior defense. And if you reread that sentence, you should be able to sum up, in a nutshell, the Nets' problems this year. Let's take for example, a team with marginal talent, and a mid-level center in Eddie Curry. How have the Knicks done against the Nets this year?
See all the red inside? Yeah, that's bad. But appropriate, that it's red. Since the Nets are freaking BLEEDING inside.
9. Warning! Power Forward Position Not Sturdy! May Vanish Mid-Game!: Anybody else out there think Tim Thomas is pretty cool? We liked him when he made that redemption surge with the Suns two years ago and we cringed when he fell apart in LA. He's made small moments of playing well this year, but only when no one's looking. He's got the ghost effect from Mario brothers in effect, along with the Pacers, as we've pointed out. We'd like to see him show up tonight. That would be Neato.
10. I Smell A Hit. Not A Punch, But A Hit (Via The Corndogg): Ron Artest has got to be eyeballing the Nets tonight. No, not because he will have to guard super scorer Richard Jefferson or Matt favorite, Vinceanity, but because he will be able to run up to the luxury box real quick and try to work on a recording deal with Nets co-owner, Sean Carter, aka the HOVA. So, instead of Jock Jams on the Jumbotron tonight, get ready to feel some of that Tru Warier joint. And then, dance the night away.
11. I'll Trade You My Possibly Career Ending Injury For Your Possibly Career Ending Injury (Via The Corndogg): With all the talk about the great young points in the league , it almost seems criminal (no -NBA reference intended) to leave off two guys like Shaun Livingston (what used to be a knee) and T.J. Ford (head, neck, spine, etc.). Its gotta be tough for these guys, who have been through so much, while still so young. Especially when guys like Tyron Lue, Luke Jackson, Nate Robinson and Jeff McGinnis seemingly have walking immunity. However, both guys are staying positive, cheering their teams on (with Ford maybe even getting some PT tonight) and remaining focus. We wish them luck. We also wish the rest of the Raps could get healthy, because they are scary. Like, Jurassic Park scary.
12. Our Favorite Trillionaire (Via The Corndogg): Jason Collins is playing tonight. Yeah, that's right, Mr. Jason "Stat Stuffer" Collins. Against a team whose only big guys can only play defense. You want comedy? You can have Andy Millman. We'll take Jason Collins. Merry Christmas to HP.
13. You Don't Say?? (Via The Corndogg): Ben Gordon is worth $60 mil. Very simply, that is something that you just don't say. What you can say is that Hinrich is finally earning his freakin' paychecks. Which means that even though the Bulls are currently 3rd to last in the East Standings, most folks would pick them to go to the playoffs ahead of such teams as Atlanta, Philly, Jersey and Milwaukee, all of whom currently have better records. I predict them to win tonight, because common sense says take the Lakers.
14. "Kaman's Going To Demolish Us.": That's straight from the mouth of the Dinosty. That pretty much sums up why we love the NBA. It's gotten so wild, so unpredictable in the minute, so ridiculous in the miniscule regular season, that we know have things like "Juan Carlos Navarro is more important to his team than Mike Bibby" and "Kaman's going to demolish us." I love this game. For what it's worth, I told the Dinosty that since they have Colanglo now, they need to accept their defensive weakness inside. Embrace it. The nightcap is the game to watch tonight. Also, Dinosty deserves all the credit in the world for bringing things like this to our attention (scroll down to "Girl Talk").
15. They Should Use Golden Crutches: Instead of the Ridiculous Salary of the Night, we bring you this little factoid. The Clippers, between two players have a little under 20 million wrapped up in players that have only recently stepped on the floor together due to injury. And they've STILL won 9 games. Amen.