Friday, December 14, 2007

15 Footer 11.13.07

Big thanks to Kurt from Forum Blue and Gold and the guys at Bullets Forever for the assist yesterday. We couldn't have done it without you. We would have been like the Spurs without Tim Duncan. And we all saw how that worked out.

Corn's running point on today's 15, since he was a DNP-Coach's Decision yesterday.

15 Reasons To Watch The Games In the NBA This Fine Evening.

1. That's Right, We Are Above .550, Bit*hes (In December) (Via The Corndogg): The now, perhaps, almost- could be- potentially from now on-perchance "Seattle" Supersonics head to Minny tonight to take on the Wolves. A win tonight gives them 4 out of their last 7. Which means... Ta Da! Above .500 for the month. That would be a great accomplishment for this young, rebuilding, almost identity-less team. And well, one of those wins came over the Knicks, so that almost doesn't count. Ha Ha. JK, LOL, OMG. U get my txt ystrdy, KD? Luvs :)~

2. It's Almost Like The End Of Last Season, Except It's Right Now(Via The Corndogg): Remember last March, right around the time everyone was hot on the trail of "tanking" teams . You know, the ones who wanted to lose (yes, we are looking at you Boston. We have not forgotten) so they could rise up in the Oden/Durant sweepstakes. Yeah, that was about the time Philly, inexplicably, started to win a lot of games. We never understood that either. But, here they are again. On the verge of having their team blown up this early in the season, and what happens? Billy Knight gets canned and they win 4 straight. If they handle the Kings tonight, which is manageable, they could conceivably be on a 7 GAME WIN STREAK by the time the land in the forum next Friday to take on the Lakers!! (Oddly enough, NOT on espn). You may now place your head in the gulliotine.

3. You Scratch My Back, I'll Scratch Your Anucha(Via The Corndogg): Half of the Knicks want to be traded. Half of the Bulls should be traded. The last time these two teams worked on a deal , it was practically a lose/lose for each of them. So, go ahead and put Marbury, Crawford, NRob, Jerome James and ZBo in Chicago and let's send Gordon, Wallace, Ty, Noah and Duhon to NY. It's almost as arbitrary and senseless as commanding our troops in the Iraq War. Except funnier. WAYYYYYYYY funnier.

4. Has Anyone Seen Reginald Veljohnson Lately?(Via The Corndogg): Seriously, has Mr. Carl Winslow from Family Matters not been doing anything recently? I mean, really, that man is a legend. If anyone out there sees him or knows him, please let us know. Thanks.
Oh yeah, almost forgot. The Clips are at the Grizz tonight. Gasol will look awful, but play great. More embarrasment for the Clips. Speaking of missing persons. Elton Brand coming back any time soon? February, huh? Too late.

7.I Didn't Know Walter Hermann Wore Banana Hammocks(Via The Corndogg): In case you are living under a rock, which I presume some Bobcats fans are, ESPN All Access is in Charlotte today to give you a "day in the life" with the Bobcats. So, should you be in the area, please feel free to stop by and watch True Hoop find out what Jeff McGinnis eats for breakfast, how Sam Vincent makes quick decisions when he runs out of toilet paper or marvel at the ability of Adam Morrison to score some fine tail with that silly stache (since he can't score when he is on the court). Or, you can just throw a bag of Cheese Doodles at Screamin' A. Smith. That would probably be best.

6. It Was The Second Small Guard On The Grassy Knoll: Look, we were scared pantsless when we found out TJ Ford went down. But Al Horford got nailed here. Let's review. Robert Horry gives Steve Nash a lariat into the scorer's table in a playoff series, and he gets one game along with Amare and Diaw for stepping off the bench. Horford gets schooled on a great play by TJ, then immediately goes to check on him, drives to the hospital to check on him, and he gets the same punishment. Stu Jackson needs to get tossed out the freaking door.

7. No, Actually, Kevin Garnett Is Legend: You seen that scene in the I Am Legend preview that shows the gazelle getting nailed by the lion? Yeah, that's a good analogy for tonight. Milwaukee stopped the skids on Wednesday, but this is bad news. This is the Juggernaut, the War Machine, the thing from Cloverfield. Run, little 7' foot Chinese man. Run.

8. Where 30 Points Is A "Quiet" Night: Kobe's due. We think it's remarkable that we watch a game where a player scoring 30 points is nothing extraordinary. Then again, we root for guys that we get excited about when they hit double digits. Anyway, Kobe hasn't had one of those monster, insane, ridiculous, OMG games in a while, and the Warriors can't play D. So this may be one of those nights where we're irritated with the slobber by the Shootaround crew. And that's probably good. It's kind of weird to not be annoyed by Kobe scoring a lot of points.

9. It Turns Out The Knicks Bench Is The Seventh Circle Of Hell. Who Knew?: Eddy Curry has apparently been muttering "Get me out of here." Oh, no, Eddie. There is no escape. You know what the next GM should do when he comes in, if he ever comes in? Trade every single one of the Knicks for expiring contracts and start completely over. The good players don't deserve what's happened to them, and the bad ones don't deserve to hang around. I'm talking, "Stephon Marbury for a bag of potato chips" stuff. Then when they expire, go get a new team. Buy a D-League team. Just press "Restart" on the damn thing. We hate the Knicks and even we feel bad for them. There's something wrong in the universe when we have pity for the freaking Knicks.

10. Maybe We Need To Talk About Our Definition Of Slide: We've heard nothing but doom and gloom about the Dallas Mavericks. And we understand that there are bigger signs of how a team is playing than wins and losses. But they're 14-9, people. You realize they'd be a half game behind Denver for the lead in the Northwest? When they get back to .500, call us, we'll talk about the Panic Button.

11. Come A Little Bit Closer, You're My Kind Of Man(Via The Corndogg): It is really too bad that the Kidd/Lebron romance has been dormant for a while, cause we really enjoyed watching two grown multi-lillionaires pine for each others talents and warmth. I mean... competitive spirit. Well, tonight they get to play "grab ass" in Jersey. Or, as their respective teams like to call it, Defense. Either way, we could be in for a rare double triple doubles (which, ironically, occured earlier this season) and an even rarer "man kiss." Gosh, you smell so musky, Lebron.

12. What's Wrong With This Picture?(Via The Corndogg): Utah is sinking like the Titanic, losing 6 straight. One of those loses was a couple days ago to Portland, which has won 5 straight. Those words should never have been written. The young Blazers are really causing match up problems for a lot of teams in the league, mainly because no front office knows anything about any of them and the majority should not even be in the NBA. But hey, they can't all be winners. Just ask the Jazz.

13. Trillion Watch: Marcus Vinicius, Corn's Favorite Josh McRoberts, Josh Powell.

14. Your "Jerome James Honorary Ridiculous Salary Of The Night": Wally Szczerbiak is making 12 million this year. 12. He has a dozen million dollars. This year. God Bless America.

15. Yeah, Thanks For The Tip: The coaches apparently told Okafor and the other Bobcats players not to front the ball tonight against Howard. Yeah. Thanks for the tip. "Here, don't try and get the guy with the bazooka in front of you. Just let him shoot you and try and stop as many as you can from going into your vital organs."

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