Friday, November 9, 2007

An Open Letter to the Golden State Warriors From Jason Terry.

Hey, Dubs!
How do you like them apples?! Isn't that what those two douchebags in Good Will Hunting say, along with "fack" and "I swallowed a bug"? Wait, don't bring up Boston... Anyway, it was good to see you last night. And by see you I mean "kick you off our pant leg like the annoying neighbor's terrier that bugs the business man on the way to his car." God I hate terriers. You know who I also hate? Boom F*!king Dizzle.

The man is the scourge of my existence. I lead my team with 24 points, 4 assists, what does he do? 37 freaking points and completely overshadows me. Hits those sick layups. I get 4 dimes, he gets 5. Every time! He always outdoes me! Thank God he missed that three at the end. I swear to God I could feel my intestines drop to my testicles when he shot that shot. I just *knew* it was going in. Good thing he didn't, or I would have had to shank him and make Jub-Jub take the fall for it. Good ol' Jub-Jub, always there for whatever I need.

You know what also chaps my ass? I'm 4-7 from the arc last night. Hit one of the big ones late to get you gutter rats off our tail. Made the big shots, the big steals, the big stops, managed the offense, and who gets the highlight clip? Father Time. Stack's a buddy, but 2-7 from 3 point land? And he gets all the credit? I need to work on this. I need that nickname of mine (JET) to get me more credit. Maybe I can make a deal with that crappy white guy stoner band. I need my own intro music. I gotta get mine. Anyways, I gotta go now. BDiz, thanks for missing that three. We'll see the rest of you chumps down the line. Peace!

Your friend,
JET

 
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