Wednesday, November 7, 2007

15 Footer 11.7

15 Reasons to Watch the Games of Wednesday, November 7th, 2007:

1. Don't Call It a Comeback: Because it ain't. Spurs vs. Heat is on tap for national television in the "weekly reminder of why all national NBA TV contracts should have flex conditioning on them (a la Sunday Night Football). Even with Wade practicing, no way is he coming back super early for this game, not with the ultra-physical Spurs waiting on them. Shaq is used to being on the better end of the Duncan rivalry. Tonight, however, is going to be another excuse for people to bag on the NBA.

2. It's Called Smallball For a Reason: Charlotte heads up to Philly to play the Sixers in an intriguing game. You've got Dalembert vs. Okafor, Wallace versus Iggy, Felton McGinnis vs. Martin, and JRich versus his amazing ability to somehow make the team worse, despite his scoring and talent.

3. This Is More a Slugfest In The Metaphoric Terms: After last night's revisiting of the brawl, we get a slugfest of a different kind tonight. The Boston Celtics Juggernaut face off against the Nuggets tonight, in a matchup that features Allen Iverson, Carmelo Anthony, Kenyon Martin, Marcus Camby, and the GAP. The glaring problem with the Nuggets so far has been their shooting, especially from beyond the arc, where they're at 32%. Boston is 7th at 40%. The Nuggets better have something pretty big up their sleeve tonight.

4. Put The Fear of God Into Him. : Maybe some time spent in the friendly confines of Salt Lake City will scare LeBron into giving up this silly dream that God Hisownself does not hate Cleveland. As this is obviously false, and as he is King James, it's vital that we make sure he understands that any team that traps him with Drew Gooden and a point guard named Boobie does not full respect his awe-inspiring talent. Maybe Hot Stuff and the Booze can scare him straight. I know they do me.

5. Funny What Happens When Your Leg's Not Falling Off: The injury free Hornets continue their resurgence. And by resurgence I mean "Watch what happens when we're not all in street clothes!" Behind CP3's 21 assists and Peja's 10 3 pointers the Hornets shut down those pesky Lakers ("Back to disarray, you!"). The matchups tonight are pretty interesting. Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge with Martell Webster versus CP3, Tyson Chandler, and Peja. So, this should be fun. Which means inevitably one team will shoot 30% and get blown out. Sigh.

6. The Assassination of Mike Dunleavy Jr. by the Forward Tim Thomas: So, the Clippers continued their vengeance streak last night, sending the Bulls to 0-4 behind Cuttino Mobley's 33 points. Tonight they look to go to 4-0 against the random ass Pacers, who have decided they've had enough of people's shit, too. This is pretty much the bitter former contenders matchup. And if Mike Dunleavy Jr. doesn't stop scoring 20+, we're going to go into epileptic shock.

7. The Dribbling Dead: Raymond Felton went down to a knee injury last night, as the Suns were finishing up stabbing the Bobcats over and over again until they were dead and buried in the cold, cold ground. So with Ammo out for the season... and May out for the season... and Felton done for at least the near future...Matt Carroll? This cannot end well. Come watch Okafor put the whole damn team on his back! And watch Jason Richardson get pissed that he's not winning with his old team, the Warri....wait.

8. Out Of The Frying Pan And Into the Searing Judgement of Baby Jesus: Perhaps we have less to be afraid of about our new Canadian overlords than we first thought. After being bested by the Stotts-to-tots Bucks thanks to Bogut's double double, Yi Jianlian's 3 blocks, and oh, yeah, Desmond Mason going 10 for freaking 10, the Raps now have to face the Magic. Who just happen to be coming off a very satisfying thumping of the T-Wolves, behind 28 and 16 from Big Baby Jesus. Osh-Bosh-BeGosh better get that knee better and have more than one point, or

9. Perhaps I Can Interest You In Ricky Davis Storyline?: Corndogg and I literally sat in stunned silence when the Ricky Davis trade happened. As much as we love the league, love its ridiculousness, love its characters, and its douchebags, sometimes, deals are made that render us completely incapacitated. The Ricky Davis trade was one such trade. Now, we get to see Ricky's freewheeling, team-killing, -10 differential producing style in a rare atmosphere of complete suck, next to an NBA all-timer. Of course, they also have this guy, now.

10.The Magical Mystery Tour Is Coming To Take You Away, And Is Shooting The Lights Out As It Goes: Another signing that boggled our noggins? The Rashard Lewis 119 deal. We thought Lewis was a great pickup for the boys in blue. But not for the GNP of a small country. Well, Rashard apparently did not think much of our criticism. Mustang Sally is shooting 70% from the field, 60% from three point land, and the Magic are looking terrifyingly good.

11. As Long As We Got Each Other...: The Grizzlies and Sonics are winless. But they've shown a lot of potential against really good teams. Tonight, one of them walks out with a win. But in the end, the future is the real winner. That and whatever hooker Pau Gasol picks up on the way home.

12. Hey Joe Johnson, Where You Going With That Gun In Your Hand? (Via the Corndogg: Probabaly to pop a cap in the Phoenix bench. I know, I know, it was only the Bobcats. But that very athletic Charlotte team thought it could run with an Amare-less Suns team. Turns out that was a total farce. Now, with former teammate and under-the-table slickster JJ and company awaiting their arrival, this pass happy, sweet shooting incarnation of Phoenix should put on another scoring clinic against the Hawks tonight. Show no mercy, Nash and Co.

13. About That James Fellow Near The Temple (Via The Corndogg): Watching Lebron get frustrated with AK47 and Ronnie Brewer in his jock will be almost as funny as the man hosting SNL. The Cavs have been really up and down throughout their first 4 games and the Jazz haven't proved they can beat anybody but the Warriors. So, this should make for mildly more interesting TV than the previous game. Alright kids, say "Thanks ESPN." (little children, mumbling "thanks espn). At least we will have some tasty Agent Zero analysis after the game.

14. Soy Un Perdedor (Via the Corndogg): Both the Clippers and the Pacers are undefeated THIS late in the season. No one saw that coming. Does the undefeated dream really have to end for one of these teams tonight? Is there a loser among them? (Answer: Yes) Who cares? Its Dunleavy on Dunleavy!! Anything goes.

15. Behold What Armageddon Hath Wrought: Awful Announcing's Dream Season continues tonight with the Stephen A. Smith Vs. Bill Walton showdown. Each week these guys get more and more confrontational with each other. We're waiting for Hubie to storm the set on a night off and kick the crap out of them with a folding chair. Also? We'd love to see the Jet and Barkley in a 2 on 2 game with these two.

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