Sunday, November 18, 2007

10 Footer 11.19.07

We apologize for the lack of updates this weekend on the bankshot. Between my Missouri Tigers sending me into epileptic fits of joy, Corn not having access to the internets, and some other commitments, we were held up. But we return to you now, to a world where Damien Wilkins is capable of scoring 41 points. We're perplexed, as always. We're on a shortened schedule around here with the Holiday, so we've got to drive, and pull up for a shorter jumper. This week, it's the 10 footer. We'll return to the long range next week.

10 Reasons to Watch Tonight's Games in the National Basketball Association:

1. Back In The Saddle Again: The Utah Jazz and the New Jersey Nets have been riding the disappointment train a la the Guns N' Roses comeback tour. The Jazz went 0fer this weekend with some baffling losses to inferior teams the Cavs and Pacers. Hot Stuff better get this team righted, right quick. Meanwhile, the Nets continue to operate without the Prince of Douchebagdom, and Kidd should be reaching critical mass. Who knew losing Mikki Moore would be such a blow to this team? One of them gets back on track tonight.

2. I Been Down Hearted Baby (Ever Since The Day I Shot): Kevin Durant hit his first game winner of his career this weekend. That ups his Field Goal % to a whopping 37.9%. Let's run down the list of some notable players with better field goal %, shall we? Matt Bonner. Antoine Walker. Tim Thomas. Ricky Davis. Martell Webster. And of course, Mike Dunleavy Jr. The good news is that tonight he's in Memphis to face the Grizz, who are allowing the 2nd best field goal % in the league, behind the Warlocks. It's go time, Realness! Let's hope they don't need another 41 point game from Damien Wilkins.

3. Mr. Nifty's Wonder Emporium Er... Dime and Fifty: We're creeped out by this Dennis Hoffman flick. It's like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, only with toys instead and Natalie Portman. None of it seems to make any sense. Such is the case with the Portland Trailblazers, who, while at 4 and 6, are pretty much hanging with everyone, even without the Sequoia. They're playing pretty great ball behind LaMarcus "Mr. Nifty" Aldridge, who no one expected this kind of performance out of. Nifty's in the top 50 in PER. For a second year big man, that's pretty damn nifty. Tonight he faces off against the M*A*S*H* unit of the Bobcats, and Oak.

4. Navarro...Navarro...That Dude From Jane's Addiction?: Juan Carlos Navarro. Here's some per 40 numbers for you. How about 18.3 pts per 40 with 3.8 AS per 40? He's playing pretty damn well, especially when the Gasol-ine is on the floor. Maybe tonight he can pull a Damien Wilkins and light it up against the Sonics.

5. David West and the Goliath: Fresh off slaying the War Machine and El Tigre Monstruoso, Big Baby Jesus heads into New Orleans to face the...brace yourselves... Western Conference leading New Orleans Hornets. Yeah. That's right. So there's that. David West has been playing out of his mind, at 19 points a game, 24 per 40, good for 12th best in players over 200 minutes. But then, Big Baby Jesus is here to judge you.

6. I Just Can't Say It Better Than ESPN, or Utah Is Whack (via the Corndogg): Courtesy of the WWL, which after reading, I almost lost my lunch, "With all the Kobe-Knicks-Chicago madness going on, here's a wild one you might have missed: Indy ends a six-game skid by scoring 117 points to hammer Utah by 20 . . . with J. O'Neal going for eight points, five boards." That is all.

7. This Question Is More Complex Than The Mapping Of The Human Genome(via the Corndogg): Would you rather have CP3 or Big Baby Jesus as the centerpiece to build your franchise around? My head hurts just asking that question. However, a case will be made tonight when to two hottest teams in the league (sans Phoenix) meet. Unfortunately, it looks like Paul might still be out with his ankle injury. But, have no fear, the subplot is the all world shootout between Rashard "Money Ball" Lewis and Peja "Playing Like It's 2002" Stojakovic. I wouldn't be surprised to see 20 threes, between them, made.

8. Antiques Roadshow:**(via the Corndogg): The mighty Nets take the Oldest Show on Earth to Utah for the first of a 4 game Western swing . They look tired and completely out of sync, sans the magic of Jason Kidd, night in and night out. Unfortunately for Matt, having VC out has actually NOT helped the Nets, as they steadfastly refuse to find any interior scoring (God, let's not even talk about the defense) or continuity on their bench. At this rate, Little Larry Frank might be getting the boot before Isiah, cause HOVA don't put up with no bitch sh*t.
** The picture in the title is of Dave "Dicko" Dickinson, first host of the BBC original version of Antiques Roadshow. He is my hero. What a bobby dazzler.

9. One Ship Sets Sail, While Another Ship Docks Home(via the Corndogg): In contrast to the Nets (in more ways that one), the Sonics finish out their East Coast road trip with a matchup in Memphis against the very beatable Grizz. This would give the Sonics a little win streak with which to boost their spirits as they go back to Grunge City. Like I said, the Sonics are finally learning to play defense (and by defense, I mean make the team use at least 10 second of shot clock before scoring) and they are getting some good production off their bench. And we won't even mention Damien "Thunder Dome" Wilkins. Clay Bennett cannot like the looks of this.

10. Hunka Hunka Burning Bearsh*t(via the Corndogg): I'm getting to the point where I feel that Memphis just does not want to win. They have more talent and better chemistry than at least a half dozen teams in the league, a legitimate All Star in Gasol, good defensive ball players and some burgeoning offensive power. Yet, they always find a way to lose. Well, tonight, they are running paws first into KDu and the boys, who seemingly have discovered the magic of winning. Clearly, not good news for Pouty Pants Pau and his Pinche Locos. Here comes Babyface Killah, and he'll be using his unholy strength to wipe out the stuggling Grizz.

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